A Cut so Deep (Thornes & Roses 1)

“I didn’t think I’d see you here tonight,” the sultry voice says from the shadows. Neither did I.

“Yeah, the house is a shitshow,” I tell her. But I don’t look at her because I don’t need to meet her hungry gaze. Genevieve has been one of my fuck buddies for years, and even when I left for college, she still waited for me. Love was never in the cards for us, and she knew that, but she never cared. I broke her heart more times than I can count. And even in those times, she would return, just to dance on my dick.

“Anything I can do to help?” she questions, in the tone that used to get me hard as fuck. Now, all I want is to go home, to taunt the little sister my father dumped us with.

“No.” Another swig of alcohol, reveling in the burn, I focus my attention on the dark water that sits before us. The stillness of the stream offers solace. Genevieve doesn’t take a hint; instead, she leans against the car beside me. She reaches for the bottle, and I allow her to grab it.

I finally turn to look at her. She takes a small mouthful, swirling the amber liquid, before swallowing it slowly.

“Is it another girl?” she asks, without looking at me. But I don’t know how to answer her. Yes, it is; no, it’s not. It’s a girl I can’t have because my father decided to stick his dick in her mother.

“Perhaps.” It’s the only thing I can offer in response. Genevieve hands me back the bottle and pulls out a packet of smokes. Even though I’m tempted, I don’t ask her for one. It’s one of the things that’s never truly fazed me. Finn smokes on the odd occasion, especially when he’s had a few drinks. But Cass and I have steered clear of it in recent years.

“I hope she’s worth it,” Gen tells me. “I mean, you could have so many beautiful women lining up for you.”

“Are you one of them? Is that why you’re here?” I’m challenging her, and I know it. There is no doubt in my mind that if I asked her to, she’d drop to her knees in front of me. But it doesn’t offer the allure that it used to, so I take a long gulp of bourbon instead.

“I just don’t like seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Broken.”

I consider her words. I don’t feel broken at all, perhaps more frustrated. And not only sexually, deep down, I know that being around Nesrin does something to me. Something I never thought I would feel—at ease with myself.

“You’re torn,” Gen muses, before pulling in a lungful of smoke and keeping it there for a while until she blows rings into the dark night.

“I am.” My admission should be a shock to me, but it’s not. I knew it the moment I sat in the car with Nesrin. I was rocked by the intrigue she presented, and each time Finn or Cass asked her something, and she offered an answer, I found myself wanting to know as well.

“Perhaps you should ask her on a date,” Gen teases, then giggles beside me, because everyone knows I’m definitely not the dating kind. I don’t even spend the night if I’m with a woman. Being so close to someone will only hurt you in the end. It happened to my father, and it will happen again. I’ve seen lives torn apart, worlds shattered, just because people fell in love. They opened themselves up to it and then got smashed in the process.

“Why are you here, anyway?” I ask into the night. Even though this is my hiding spot, Gen is one of the only women I’ve ever been with who knows about it. Cass and Finn found me here once, so drunk, I had passed out. My father was looking for me all night, well into the day, and when my brothers found me, they thought it was funny. Finn’s too young to remember the fights that ensued in the manor; Cass probably remembers the night our mother left, but I doubt he can recall the times I would sit up on the landing and listen to their screams.

“Wanted to see you. I heard you’re back.”

“Finn’s an asshole.”

“He didn’t tell me. I overheard the girls talking,” Gen says. I know there are a few girls who my brothers know well and keep around when they need to let off some steam. “The Black Knights were talking about you as well.”

“Fuck them,” I bite out, clenching my jaw so tight, I feel the ache in my cheeks. I gulp down another mouthful of alcohol before I hand the bottle to Gen.

“They want you back,” she tells me. I know they do. They’ve been pandering around like lost sheep since I walked, but I’m not going back to that life. It’s nothing I need. Especially now that I have a sister who’s fucking with my head.