I nod. My fingers gripping Finn’s so hard, I’m sure I’m stopping his blood flow. “I need help. It’s taken me a long time to admit it. Even though I’m not alone in this, I feel like I need to say it out loud before I can start to heal.”
“You’re a strong woman to admit you have a problem. Most who come to me struggle with that, but you seem to have come to terms with the fact that you have a problem.”
He’s right. It’s the first small step. “Will you be able to help me or offer me some advice on where to go to do it?”
“Actually, Thorne Haven has a facility not far from the university,” the doctor offers. “If you’d like to go there, I can definitely help you. You have a wonderful support system,” he says, glancing at Finn, and I’m sure if Cass were here, he would most certainly be all for it. He’s always wanted me healthy.
Even though I’m doing this for myself, I’m partly doing it for him as well. I want him to see me in a different light. One he’s never seen me in. Cassian has been the hero all through our friendship, the white knight trying to save me from myself. I want him to finally see the strong woman who no longer needs a high to get through difficult times but can deal with challenges with a clear mind and a strong conviction.
It’s not going to be easy, but I want this, not only to have him be proud of me but for me to be proud of myself too.
I make my decision and smile at the doctor. “I’d like that very much.”
34
Cassian
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I croak, rolling over to find softness beside me. Snapping my eyes open, I look into a pretty yet worried gaze that stops my heart for a split second. “What the fuck happened?”
“Paulo and Manny’s men injected you with something,” she tells me, her hand reaching for my face, gently cupping me as if I were fragile. “Finn and Damien got the doctor here to check on you. He said you were to rest. So, you have to stay in bed for a while. Your system needs to rid itself of the toxins.”
“My fucking head is throbbing,” I tell her.
“The doc said you can have a painkiller if you need it,” my girl tells me. Kalyn moves to grab a glass of water with two aspirin and hands them to me. Gratefully, I swallow them down quickly while praying they take effect very fucking soon because this is not my idea of fun.
“I’ve spent my life hiding from this shit,” I bite out before realizing what I’ve just said. “I didn’t mean—”
Kalyn nods, then drops her gaze to the bed, focusing on the sheet instead of me. In a soft tone, she admits, “I know. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. If I never came back to Thorne Haven, you wouldn’t be dealing with this.”
“Don’t you dare fucking apologize,” I grit, pulling Kalyn until she’s nestled in my hold. Her body is so tiny as she curls up on the mattress, her hands tangling in my shirt.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she whispers, taking my hand in hers. “While you were out, I woke up; I was struggling.”
My brows furrow in confusion. “Struggling?”
“The withdrawals hit me quite hard. Finn took me to see Doctor Ulrich, and he is going to help me. I’m going to go to a facility in town.” Her words are merely a whisper, but there’s a sparkle to her eyes which has my chest filling with pride.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” I tell her, cupping her face with my free hand, my thumb swiping along her cheek. “You won’t be alone. I’m going to be here for you every step of the way.”
Kalyn nods then sighs. “I know, but there’s something else. Before we talk about all of this, I think Genevieve needs your help,” Kalyn confesses quietly, which makes my body tense. “Paulo said something about the redhead before he walked out of the office. She’s the only person I know with red hair who lives in town.” Her confession makes me want to make sure our friend is alive and well, but I can’t move. It feels as if I’m being held down by a boulder, and the pain killers haven’t kicked in yet.
Reaching for my phone that I spy on the nightstand, I open my messages and tap out a quick one to Harris. We need to get Gen back if it is indeed her that Paulo’s sunk his claws into.
“I’ll fix things,” I tell Kalyn, but the way she’s curling up smaller and smaller, I have a feeling she’s not going to allow her guilt to ease. “This wasn’t your fault,” I tell her, but my girl won’t allow herself to believe me until we find out what is going on. “He may have been lying. You told him you’d be going with Gen that night you met me. Which means he knows her. He knows about your friendship with her. Also, Gen isn’t into guys from out of town, I think we all know this.”