Bayou Beauty (Butterfly Bayou 4)

But there was the added problem of Louis, and that situation was getting more and more tense. He’d come for dinner two nights before, and there had been something quiet and watchful about Rene. He’d cut the evening off early, saying his mother needed rest. Cricket had argued, but when Rene pressed, she’d agreed and Louis had backed off.

The next morning Cricket had been her smiling self, but Sylvie didn’t buy it. There was a slight awkwardness between mother and son now.

“Do you want them? Children, I mean?” Cricket asked, her voice as nonchalant as the words that formed the question were serious.

“I do, but I definitely worry about what expectations will be on my kids.” It was a good way to start a conversation she needed to have. Maybe if she got Cricket’s perspective, she would be able to more easily speak to her husband about the situation. “Rene talks a lot about how he always knew he would have to take over the company.”

“Yes, he always knew he would have a job. He never had to worry about his financial security.”

“He also never had the chance to explore what he might have wanted to do with his life.”

“That’s the exchange, isn’t it?” Cricket gestured around the room. “Security and comfort versus freedom. There isn’t another word for it, is there? Rene did not have the freedom to truly find out what he wanted to do with his life. But he always seemed to look up to his father. He seemed to enjoy the responsibilities, until later on. I think it was a combination of things that happened that made his life feel like a cage. I often wonder if it would have been easier on him if Ross and I had been able to have more children.”

Sylvie knew firsthand how much Rene had wanted a brother. He’d basically adopted hers. “You wanted more kids?”

“Oh, yes,” Cricket answered. “I’ll be honest, Rene saved our marriage in a lot of ways. We were older for a first-time marriage back then. I had a career in college teaching. Ross and I decided to get married very quickly, and I don’t honestly believe it would have survived more than a few years if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. I might have gone back to Dallas and settled into being a spinster.”

An incredibly wealthy spinster. “But you stayed married for Rene?”

“I did, and I’m grateful I did. Ross and I were good together, especially in the end. Sometimes love grows on a person. Sometimes the things we start for the wrong reasons end up being the best thing that could have happened to us. I can’t say I love the family I married into. They’re selfish and entitled, and think the name ‘Darois’ should open all doors for them. But I love my son and, oh, my sweet girl, how I love you and hope that I one day get to hold my grandbabies. I wouldn’t change where I am now for anything in the world.”

“I love you, too.” She did adore this small family she found herself in, and she could understand Cricket holding the rest of the Darois family at arm’s length. “But I don’t think I would want to exchange the freedom to be who I am for all these things.”

A ghost of a smile crossed Cricket’s face. “I don’t know about that. I happen to know there’s a stunning Chanel bag in one of those boxes. Also, this is only part one. The personal shopper is bringing in the stuff from Neiman Marcus later on today.”

“You know what I’m saying.”

“There’s always a trade-off. No matter what we do,” Cricket said. “It’s all about finding which cage we’re willing to walk into, to be comfortable in. That’s the important thing in life. The good news is some of us get to pick our cages and others are trapped there by circumstance. But no matter who you are, there’s always a cage. I’ve heard Rene refer to it that way. I like to think of it as picking a room. You’re mostly given a choice, though it’s obviously not the same for everyone. But you’re only going to get one room. You only get to decorate it in one way. You might redecorate every now and then, but it’s still your room. It’s still the place you live. You can walk out sometimes and visit other rooms, but you go back at night and that’s where you sleep. Maybe you have children and build on to the room, but that means less chance to see other rooms. Maybe you choose not to have children and spend your time exploring when you can. Then your room might change, it might grow, but not in the same way.”

She understood what her mother-in-law was saying, and there was certainly truth to it. “We get one life and no one has endless choices.”