Starting From the Top (Starting from 5)

Fuck if I knew. I swallowed the mouthful of chocolate goodness and walked to my SUV, willing my pulse to return to normal. I felt lightheaded, dizzy, and slightly sick to my stomach. I took another bite of the cupcake—’cause if I were going to barf it would make more sense to blame it on Betty Crocker than on a wicked case of confusion.

5

Sean

My heart hammered in my chest. It was a fucking miracle that I hadn’t fallen to my knees in a combination of shock and panic when Penny rushed outside with a cupcake for a new friend only to find me kissing the hell out of him. I’d stoically observed her conversation with Johnny from afar, anticipating the repercussions and consequences. They ranged from minor to catastrophic and yeah…I might have been guilty of overreacting, but it was perfectly understandable. I’d never kissed a man in front of Parker or Penny. Ever. I’d never purposely been in the same room with an actual boyfriend and my kids.

They’d met Tegan by chance a couple of years ago, and that hadn’t gone over well. The kids hadn’t seemed to care actually, but I’d gone out of my way to downplay our relationship, which in retrospect was pretty crappy of me. Maybe I should have taken a stance. I simply didn’t know how to be a dad and a significant other at the same time. So I made a choice, and I kept the peace.

And now…well, I wasn’t sure how to explain Johnny. He was a friend of a friend. He was a neighbor who’d agreed to teach a guitar lesson. He was a component in the massive real estate deal my firm was trying to close. But he wasn’t my boyfriend.

That didn’t mean I didn’t want him. I did. It was…complicated. And it certainly wouldn’t make any sense to Penny. Or Parker.

I swiped my hand over my beard and sent up a quick prayer to whoever might be listening to give me the power to handle this without scarring my kids.

Penny skipped to my side, crouching to rescue the wooden spoon from Lullah. “Daddy, dogs can’t have chocolate. She’s going to get sick.”

Lullah looked up at us with adoring puppy eyes before sprinting across the lawn to sniff flowers and chase butterflies.

“She’ll be fine. I must have dropped it,” I added lamely, plucking the spoon from her fingers. I whistled for Lullah, then inclined my head toward the house. “Let’s go clean up.”

I cleaned cupcake pans, wiped down the counters, and supervised washing dishes while Penny chattered about practicing her high kicks. She was obsessed with all things Wonder Woman and decided that a combination of karate and gymnastics would be her best bet at replicating her heroine’s kickass vibe. I nodded along like everything was cool. No worries here, boys and girls.

“…and watch the new one tonight. Do you want to? I want to.”

“Watch what?”

“Wonder Woman, silly.”

“Again?” Parker asked, hopping onto the barstool.

“Yes.” Penny closed the dishwasher and rested her elbow on the counter in a faux-casual pose. “You could ask Johnny to come over too.”

Okay. Here we go.

“That’s nice of you, but I think he has plans,” I replied.

“Is Johnny your boyfriend? He said he’s not, but—”

“Geez, Penny!” Parker huffed. “That’s weird.”

“No, it’s not. They were kissing. I saw them and…”

I tuned her out, giving Parker my full attention. He was a closed book. His mouth was drawn in a tight line, and dark-blond hair fell over his eyes. That didn’t necessarily mean he was upset. Parker tended to keep his emotions under lock and key. Like father, like son.

I dried my hands on a dish towel and waited for her to run out of steam.

“Hey, listen. Johnny’s my friend. That’s all. Any questions?”

“But you kissed him,” Penny insisted, furrowing her brow in bewilderment. “Does that mean you want him to be your boyfriend and he said no?”

Parker pulled out his cell. His features were hidden by his hair again, but his hands were shaking. Fuck.

“No, Pen. It’s not like that. We’re just…friends.” My tone was kind but firm.

She stared at me for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay. Can we still watch Wonder Woman?”

“Sure.”

I chuckled when she whooped with joy and immediately changed the subject. Bullet dodged.

But not quite.

I listened with half an ear to Penny’s lighthearted rambling, keeping my eyes on Parker. He didn’t seem upset or angry or sad. He was just his quiet self. And I had to admit, the silence was really beginning to get to me.

Tuesdays were traditionally slow at Vibes. It was our only non-themed night of the week, and Garrett wanted to change that ASAP.

“We could try something new and mix it up every week,” he suggested as he poured top-shelf whiskey into two low glasses. He set the drinks in front of two burly-looking men commandeering the opposite corner of the bar with a friendly word before joining me again.