Starting From the Top (Starting from 5)

For the first time since this ride began, I had something to lose…and it scared the hell out of me.

A few months ago, I’d teased Sean about his tendency to compulsively compartmentalize his life. I understood now. It wasn’t just a fear-driven quest to keep demons at bay. It was about protecting one’s sanity and the people and places that felt safest. Like home.

I’d never had a real home. I had friends who felt like home and that had always been good enough for me. Then I bought a house and thought, Wow, now I have that one thing I always wanted. But a house turned out to be four walls. A sweet-looking shell without a real soul. A home was a haven…and Sean’s house had become that for me.

I could push away any niggling doubts or worries and relax here. A cat on my chest, a dog at my feet, and my sexy lover uncorking a bottle of Pinot in his kitchen, asking me for details of my day like I was the most interesting man in the world.

“We’re supposed to finish recording in July and hopefully release the next album by late September. Charlie wants us to do a few local shows in late fall and wait to start the big portion of the tour in January.” I traced a circle between Tabby’s ears, coaxing a soft purr from her and petting Lullah with my free hand. “And we’re going everywhere. Tokyo, Melbourne, Munich, London…everywhere.”

Sean poured a glass of wine, fetched a beer from the fridge, balanced the bottle on the charcuterie board he’d put together, and carried the burden into the living area. He set it on the coffee table and gave Lullah a warning when she sniffed at the cheese and cracker spread. Then he handed over a beer and motioned for me to make room for him on the sectional.

“That’s exciting,” he commented, raising his glass in a toast.

“I guess it is.” I sipped my beer thoughtfully, chuckling when the cat leaped from her perch with a loud meow.

Yes, my cat was at his house. I didn’t like leaving Tabby at night, and she felt the same way. When she took out her angst on my new sofa, I asked if I could bring her. Sean didn’t hesitate. The more, the merrier. See? Home.

“You don’t sound excited.” He set his glass on the coffee table and pulled my legs across his lap.

“I am. It’s daunting, though. We’ve been to London, but this time there’s a good chance we’re playing Wembley. When we started, Justin told us about a dream he had where Zero was headlining there. We all laughed. There’s a ninety-thousand-people capacity at Wembley Stadium, and we couldn’t get a fucking gig at Carmichael’s back then. And we had to turn down a few opportunities because we had to work at our regular jobs.”

“You’ve come a long way, baby.”

I linked my fingers with his and squeezed. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“London, Melbourne…everywhere. The kids could come too. It would be amazing. Don’t say no. At least not yet.” I set my hand over his mouth, sensing an automatic protest. “I had a crappy day, and I don’t want any negativity.”

Sean kissed my palm, rolling his eyes at my dramatic sigh. “What happened?”

“Nothing. We sat in meetings in a fucking conference room for an hour, wasted another hour talking about the contract with the water dudes, and then…get this…I spent my entire afternoon with a photographer in my face. It was fucking torture. I’m so hungry and I don’t have the strength to get a cracker,” I moaned, wiggling my fingers in the general direction of the appetizers.

“Oh, brother.” He leaned over and put a cheese and cracker combo together and popped it in my mouth. “The lasagna will be ready in twenty min—”

Ding dong.

I chuckled when Lullah nearly upended the coffee table in her haste to greet whoever was at the door with a friendly bark.

“Are you expecting company?”

“No. I’ll be right back.” He called after Lullah, hurrying through the living room to the foyer.

“Shit. The cat!”

And that was when all hell broke loose. A streak of black and gold shot out of the room. I raced after her in bare feet, calling her name…like she’d listen to me. She didn’t. Neither did Lullah. The dog upped her barking game by fifty percent just as Sean opened the door.

“Whoa!” Our guest stepped inside to get out of the way.

I grabbed Tabby before she darted outside and hooked my fingers around Lullah’s collar, inclining my head in a wordless request to close the door. I released the animals and stood with a grin.

“That’s a wild crew. Sorry about—oh. Hey. Fiona.” I cast a wary gaze between Sean and his ex-wife. Fuck. Something told me this was bad, but I pasted a friendly smile on my face and barreled on. “How’s it goin’?”