Starting From the Top (Starting from 5)

“Jack the Ripper tour?”

“No, I was thinking something more like the Tate or the British Museum. Have you ever seen the Rosetta Stone?” Sean asked, smoothing my sleep-mussed hair from my forehead.

“No. Should I care?”

“Yeah, you should. The Rosetta Stone is the key to deciphering ancient Egyptian scripts and—”

“Let me stop you right there. No, thanks.” I sighed around a yawn.

Sean snickered. “We’re getting cultured, remember? We take in the scenery by day and rock out by night. Let’s check out the Victoria and Albert Museum instead. I think they have the new Dior exhibit.”

“Who are you and why do I love you?”

“ ’Cause I ordered you a proper English breakfast and asked room service to wait till this afternoon to tackle our suite,” he replied, pressing kisses on my forehead and nose, then sealing his mouth over mine. “I love you. Jump in the shower. The kids are expecting us to call before they go to bed. Chop-chop.”

I clutched at the duvet, but Sean was faster. He folded it over, exposing my naked self to the cool air in our ginormous hotel suite. Suite. The biggest one in the poshest hotel in Mayfair, according to Charlie. I believed him. This place was insane.

A crystal chandelier hung over a coffee table in the adjoining room. The ornate ceilings were impossibly high, and the wall of French windows was adorned with fine silk drapery. The furniture looked like something out of a palace. Delicate but sturdy. My favorite piece was definitely the king-sized four-poster bed. It was actually the only room we’d spent much time in this past week.

Zero was officially on the final leg of a month-long European tour. We’d performed in front of sold-out crowds from Budapest to Berlin to Barcelona. But we began and ended in London. Tonight marked our last show before we returned home to begin the American leg of the tour. I couldn’t even begin to think about that. I was exhausted. As in, put a fork in me…done. Thank God, Sean was here.

Nine months ago, we’d agreed to do whatever was necessary to make this life work. It was unusual for sure. He had a life in LA that required his presence. His kids needed him, and he had business responsibilities too. He couldn’t drop everything to follow a rock band on tour for weeks on end. But he’d taken off five days to be with me on the first leg and a whole week to wrap up this final part, which meant more to me than having thousands of fans scream my name in any stadium anywhere in the world.

Last night, I’d stood onstage looking out at a sea of flashlights flickering from cell phones. There had to be fifty thousand of them. They looked like fireflies lighting an indigo sky. A laser show had just ended Jealousy’s killer set. Dec, Bobby J, Cade, and Gill were pumped up. They whooped excitedly, greeting us with overzealous high fives while Charlie issued new instructions.

A year ago, we would have hopped onstage immediately afterward, but that wasn’t how it worked in the big leagues. We waited for props and equipment changes like real rock stars and spent a good forty minutes alternately running through points on the set list and joking around with our friends.

Sean stuck close to me. He seemed alarmed by the size of the crowds and the press lying in wait. He didn’t say anything, though. He took it all in like a sentry keeping guard. And when it was time for Zero to go on, he kissed me softly.

I grinned. “Now you’re wearing my lipstick.”

“I wear it proudly. Break a leg, baby.”

The sound was deafening. I could barely hear myself think. I didn’t need to think, though. I could do this part with my eyes closed. Don’t worry…I didn’t.

Tegan tapped his drums, Ky joined in with a killer bassline, and I filled in the notes. Music poured through me. I swayed as my fingers tripped over the strings, chuckling with glee when Justin jumped through the air, bellowing into his mic, “Hello, London town!” I met my friends’ gazes and laughed, loving that I could tell they were as blown away by this as I was. It was a dream come true. We’d done it. We were on top. We had the world at our feet and limitless potential. It was daunting, yet so fucking magical.

Best of all, I got to share it with the man I loved. Sean stood to the side of the stage, just where I could see him. His broad smile and strong presence made anything seem possible. Like I could actually ride this roller coaster with my band and still have a life with the person I loved more than anything. I could live with him, drive the kids to school, practice with my band, and make dinner after work. Pinch me.