The Perfect Ruin

“No, I want to,” I whispered, and my voice cracked. Damn, I deserved an Oscar for this shit, Marriott! I almost had to fight a smile. I’d practiced this sob story in the mirror too many times to count, making sure all my facial expressions were clear and worthy of tugging on the heartstrings.

“I’m just . . . well, it still haunts me sometimes. I was seven weeks along. I was only eighteen years old, but I wanted the baby. I know I was young, but I had a job and I knew I could take care of it if I wanted to. I was so prepared to live life as a new mom, but then I woke up with these really bad cramps one night, and when I turned on the light, blood was all over my bed. I—I didn’t make it to the hospital in time.”

“Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry.” Lola rubbed my back as I dropped my face into my palms. I had her right in the palm of my hand.

“If I’d had insurance or money to set an appointment, then I could have gotten the proper care, but as a young girl, I couldn’t afford to go to prenatal appointments or anything. I was just saving up for the birth and afterward. I should have gotten the care I needed.”

Lola was quiet for a moment, but she still rubbed my back in soothing circles. She stared off in the distance for a long time—so long that I thought she was ignoring me.

After several seconds, she said, “I went through something similar.”

I picked up my head and purposely separated my lips to gasp. “You did?” Of course I already knew that. She’d posted about it on Facebook several times, stating that her miscarriage was part of the reason she’d started a charity for pregnant women who couldn’t afford proper care—especially if they were high risk. Apparently, she had met a woman who’d suffered a miscarriage around the same time she did while she was in the hospital. The woman couldn’t afford the medical bill when all was said and done, so Lola paid the bill for her, and that inspired her to start up Ladies with Passion a year later.

“I did,” Lola went on. “I was thirty-four at the time, seven weeks along. I remember being so happy that I was pregnant, but then watching it all vanish into a pool of red. It was just . . . I can’t explain it, but I understand your grief. I am so sorry you went through that, Ivy.”

I nodded, and Lola sighed, blinking away her tears and standing up. She walked to a bookcase against the wall and took down a box of tissues. After offering one to me, she snatched one for herself and dabbed at the corners of her eyes.

Noah walked into the room, and I was so thankful he interrupted our tearfest. It was getting harder and harder to fake the waterworks. He handed the water to me with a sympathetic sweep of his eyes and I thanked him graciously.

“You know what? I’ve heard enough. I want you as a volunteer,” Lola said with utmost certainty. “I know how hard it is to endure what you’ve gone through, and to know that someone who is passionate about this project is around to encourage these moms is exactly what I need.”

“A-are you sure?” I asked, lowering the tissue as she walked around her desk.

“Positive, sweetie. I found your application and I’m going to forward it to Noah so he’ll have you on file as an approved member. Just lend me your ID so I can get it photocopied and you’ll be good to go.”

“Oh my goodness! I can’t thank you enough! This is a dream come true, it really is!” I thought maybe I was laying my excitement on too thick, but Lola only smiled a sweet, caring smile.

“I’m lucky to have met you. It’s very rare to find the passionate eggs, but I can tell you’re one of them. We will be having a seminar next Saturday to discuss Passion Camp, which is coming up very soon. Do you think you’ll be able to join us to learn the ropes for camp?”

“Of course. I don’t work too often on Saturdays, so that’s perfect.” I fingered through my wallet, handing her my fake ID. Ivy Elliot from Tampa was what she’d see on it.

“Wonderful.” Lola accepted the ID, typed something else, and then pushed back in her chair to stand. I stood with her. “I just forwarded your application.” She walked to me and held me by the upper arms. “I am so happy to have you on board for the Ladies with Passion Project, Ivy. You are so strong. I know you’ll make a great team member.”