Too Hard (Too 1)

We talked about what it would be like to date an older man off and on in texts last night and this morning. I didn’t bring up the fact that I’d broken down and sent him a message saying I wanted him to come over today.

“I wanted to make sure he would agree to come back.”

It was either text him and confirm or think about it all night and get no sleep, not that I’d gotten much anyway. His son, or as I learned last night, his nephew, friend requested me on PlayStation, and I ended up playing video games with him all night. We had fun, but I spent most of the time trying to listen in the background for Butch. I got nothing but a kickass kill streak that made Owen tell me I was the coolest chick ever. Then I think he might have tried to ask me out, but I disconnected to be safe. I went completely offline so it looked as though maybe I lost internet. I’m not so sure I should play with him anymore because it’s his dad I’m after. That could get awkward, but I guess I’ve already done that with the text I sent this morning.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s coming.” She polishes off her donut and goes for another.

My cousin Nellie and I are close in body type, but she’s got long blonde hair and mine is red. She loves food more than I do, but she’s got toned curves because of all that yoga she does. She invited me one time to go to a class with her, but I complained the whole time that it was boring and she didn’t ask me back. I’m just impressed she can put her legs behind her head. At the time I didn’t understand why someone would need a reason to do that, but now I keep thinking about Butch’s broad size fitting between my thighs. I should have stuck with the yoga.

“I can’t believe you tried to pretend the number didn’t work,” she laughs and I cringe. “I mean, he doesn’t know it’s him you were talking about.”

“I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.” I walk over to the sofa and sit down. I don’t want him thinking I want someone else, because what would be the point in that?

“Your outfit is cute,” she tells me as she comes to sit down next to me.

I never pay a ton of attention to what she’s wearing, but today I notice she has on a bodysuit with wedges. Nellie is always in heels and is done up, but suddenly I feel self-conscious. How do I look next to her? Will Butch compare us or maybe even hit on Nellie? Everyone always hits on her, and I wonder if it’s because she’s more talkative than I am. She’s friendly whereas I’m blunt and don’t talk unless I’ve got something to say or someone asks me a direct question.

I’m wearing a pair of black shorts that have lace at the bottom of them and a black off-the-shoulder shirt that I cut into a crop top. Nellie walked me through how to do it and she told me to go all black because it would make my red hair pop.

“Well, he’ll be here any minute, so I think he’s into it. I mean, if he wasn’t he would’ve canceled.” She shrugs before reaching into her bag, pulling out lip gloss and handing it to me. I take it from her and put it on then hand it back.

She’s right. If it freaked him out he wouldn’t have said he was on his way or even asked how big it was. That could’ve been a joke or a come on. I’m not good at reading people and texting is worse.

There’s a knock at the door and I pale as my eyes snap to Nellie.

“Answer the door or I’ll go do it,” she laughs then starts to get up.

“I got it.” I hop up, wanting to be the first person he sees. I run my fingers through my hair just as another knock sounds.

Nellie gives me a thumbs up and I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I need to know if he’s into me, so I’m just going to ask and get it out there so I stop driving myself crazy.

When I open the door my shoulders drop when I see Sean, Nellie’s contractor, standing there. He’s the one who did my kitchen already and is currently working on my office.

“Oh.” I try to hide my disappointment as I step back and gives me a funny look.

“Happy to see you, too,” he chuckles as he walks into the apartment.

Nellie pops up from the chair and does the same thing I did to my hair a second ago and makes sure everything is in place. My eyes dart between them and I wonder if she has a thing for Sean. Now that I look at him, I see he’s probably about Butch’s age and I realize us Harrison girls must enjoy older men. I’m pretty sure I only have a thing for one older man because I hadn’t really noticed Sean before now. I guess he’s not bad on the eyes, but he’s no Butch.