Feel the Fire (Hotshots 3)

“I don’t know,” he admitted at last, slipping the frittata into the oven to finish.

“Exactly. No one knows. And she has all these plans for our future...”

“It’s fun to daydream.” Even knowing how it ended, he still wouldn’t trade all the hours spent with Tucker as teens, painting pictures of a future in California that had never come. In one letter, he’d made a list of all his favorite places he wanted to take Tucker to, experiences he wanted to share. He’d attached a picture he’d snapped at a music festival of two men holding hands. This could be us.

“Not just a daydream.” Walker’s chin took on a stubborn tilt that made him look even more like his father. “It could happen. A life here isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“No, it’s not,” Luis gentled his voice further.

“I know Dad had to pass on whatever dreams he had for skipping town, and Mom had to turn down that college in Iowa she liked, but they need to stop acting like me doing the same thing would be this huge failure.”

“Your dad wanted to leave?”

Walker shrugged. “Not that he’s ever told me. But I’ve heard him and Mom talking over the years. Yeah, he wanted out. But of course, now he’s all ‘you’re the best thing to happen to me’ dad talk.”

Luis had to blink a few times as he tried to figure out a response. Tucker had wanted to leave? All this time, Luis had assumed that he’d been...well, not grateful for his dad’s health issues but maybe relieved as it had seemed to provide him an excuse to stay. Part of Luis’s bitterness had been his conviction that there was no separating Tucker from this place. But maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe Tucker truly had been torn. Which meant Luis had been even more hasty with his ultimatum. Mistakes. They’d both made them. But if Tucker had been willing to leave once...

Stop. He couldn’t think like that. This was here and now, not almost twenty years ago. “Kids do tend to change things.”

“Exactly. Maybe I’ll feel that way too.” Walker gave a firm nod, again so much like his dad.

“Maybe.”

“Wade can be the one to go.” Walker sounded like he was trying to convince himself about this as much as Luis. “For someone who always talked about playing ball here, he’s doing a ton of looking. He’s already talking to places in Idaho, Colorado and Washington.”

“Looking is good,” Luis said mildly. “If you want—”

“I don’t.” Walker’s face shuttered, no more confessions, only the same sort of stubborn determination his dad was famous for.

“Do I smell food?” Tucker’s voice preceded his footsteps on the stairs. “Was hoping you might let me—Walker.”

Tucker managed to go from sleepy and seductive to dad voice in a single syllable, and Luis had to laugh. Tucker had been naked when Luis left him in bed, but he’d managed to find some flannel pants at least.

“Forgot my notebook. But then there was bacon...” Walker’s eyes shifted, casting Luis a glance that begged him not to reveal their earlier conversation.

“And now there’s frittata,” Luis said easily, sliding the finished dish on a trivet. “There’s more than enough for you too.”

“I should really get going. But thanks for the bacon and coffee.” Walker turned to leave but Tucker stopped him with hand on his shoulder.

“Hey. I haven’t seen you in days. Sure you can’t stay?”

“Nah.” Walker moved away, but he gave Tucker a pat on the hand. “Test is Saturday. I better not skip the prep class, and someone has to go wake Wade up.”

“Okay, okay. Go on then.” Tucker looked genuinely sad to see Walker go, which made Luis’s stomach churn as he hoped he wasn’t the reason Walker was jetting out of there.

“So that was...uh...something,” Tucker said after Walker dashed upstairs, retrieved his notebook, and let himself out the front door.

“It wasn’t that awkward.” Luis served him some of the frittata. “At least we were both sort of dressed.”

“Still.” Tucker gave him a sheepish sort of smile. “I was looking forward to a more...romantic morning with you. Didn’t want you to have to deal with my moody kid.”

“I like your kids, moody one included.” Pouring them both coffee, he passed Tucker the creamer and sugar with his. “You were right. He’s got stuff on his mind, but he reminds me an awful lot of you, the way he shoulders responsibility, weighs everything over in his head.”

“He talked to you?” Tucker’s eyebrows went up.

“Some.” Trying not to look too pleased, Luis took a sip of his coffee. “I think he’s worried about disappointing you and Heidi.”

“I’m not worried about that.” Tucker made a dismissive gesture, but his eyes were thoughtful. “I’m more worried about him disappointing himself.”

“I feel you on that. I’m not sure there’s an easy answer for either of you.”