Feel the Fire (Hotshots 3)

“Yeah.” Luis blew out a rough breath. “But the facts haven’t changed. If we want to be together—”

“I do. More than anything.” Conviction made his voice rough, even in a whisper.

“Me too.” Luis squeezed his hand. “And if that’s the goal, then one of us needs to at least think about moving. And you weren’t wrong that I’m more in position to do that than you.”

He hated how resigned Luis sounded and knew that a lot of that was his own fault for being so damn stubborn. But he could fix that now. “Not necessarily.”

“Oh?” Luis’s head tilted.

Outside, some kids drove through the parking lot, windows down and peals of laughter echoing through the evening air. But inside Luis’s car, Tucker was all seriousness.

“This life I’ve got here...it’s changing.” He hadn’t wanted to admit it, even to himself, but saying it aloud helped make it more real. “Another year and both boys will out of the house, one way or another. Wade’s looking at colleges all over. And no matter what Walker decides, he’ll move on too. And then it’s me and an empty house and a lot of mixed-up thinking about what my life is and what it has to be.”

Luis frowned at that. “Not sure I want to be your empty-nest fallback plan.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Making a frustrated noise, Tucker tried to meet his gaze. “I’m not saying you’re...some sort of replacement. More that you’re my future.”

“I like the idea of being your future. A lot,” Luis said softly, looking down at their linked hands.

“I’ve put the boys first for over seventeen years now, and maybe it’s okay now if I listen to what I want, at least give some thought to my own needs and wants.” It had taken him days to reach that conclusion, but the more he thought on it, the less he wanted to end up thirty years from now bitter at all the chances he never took.

“I get that.” Luis nodded. “However, much as I want to be your future, I also can’t deny that you’ve built a life here. You’ve got deep roots.”

“And I let those roots hold me back once before. I’m not going to do that again.” He kept his voice steady, but some of his frustration at past regrets seeped into his tone.

“Your family—”

“Is mainly only Heidi and the boys these days. The rest of them, my parents and such, can either come around to being supportive or not. I’m not making any decisions with them in mind. I spent too many damn years caring about what they thought, and I’m not going to start again.”

“Fair enough.” Luis restlessly moved his fingers in Tucker’s grasp, thumb sweeping along the edge of Tucker’s fingers.

“And you do have a great family. That’s not nothing. It doesn’t feel fair to ask you to leave all that extended network behind simply because I’ve got a few connections here that I’m reluctant to leave behind.”

“I appreciate that, but you’ve got more of a support system here than I was willing to admit as well. I was so focused on the past that I wasn’t allowing myself to see a future here.” Turning more in his seat, Luis added his other hand on top of their linked fingers. “You’ve got friends. We wouldn’t be alone. The area has changed some. When I really let myself stop and think things through, I could see a life here. And more importantly, I was having a hard time seeing a life back home without you.”

“That...thank you.” Licking his suddenly parched lips, he swallowed hard. “And same. I mean it. I close my eyes and think about the future and it’s you. The where matters a lot less than the who.”

“Same. I don’t want to look back and think about lost chances, think that if I’d only been a little more flexible that we might have had it all.”

“Maybe that’s on both of us.” Reaching out, Tucker stroked Luis’s jaw. “We were thinking about distance like we were seventeen again, like a couple of months or a year is forever and not the blink of an eye.”

“True. I was all up in my fears.” Luis’s exhale was warm against Tucker’s fingertips.

“Me too. But I want to believe that we can make it this time.” Staying Tucker’s hand, Luis pressed a kiss to his thumb.

“I think we can.” Unable to resist another second, Tucker leaned in for a soft kiss. He’d meant it to be brief, reassuring, but not particularly sexy, but as usual their bodies had their own agenda. He wasn’t even sure who moved to deepen the kiss, only that one moment their lips were barely brushing and the next they were clutching at each other, tongues tangling. Needy sounds filled the car until Luis pulled back, harsh breathing echoing Tucker’s.