Innocent Wife, Baby of Shame

But Garth was no longer her closest confidante, she reminded herself with a deep pang of regret. He was virtually a stranger now; she hadn’t seen or heard from him in weeks.

But if what she suspected was true, he would have to be told, Keira thought with another wave of sickening panic. He had the right to know that he was one of two possible candidates if it turned out she was indeed pregnant.

The testing kit was still in her handbag; she hadn’t yet summoned up the courage to use it. She knew she was doing her usual procrastination routine but every time she put her hand in her bag for something she felt as if she were physically touching her guilt and shame.

The thought of telling Patrizio was something she couldn’t even think about. He hadn’t been able to forgive her for sleeping with another man—how on earth would he forgive her for falling pregnant as a result of that one night of infidelity? How could he ever love her again, knowing she was carrying another man’s child?

He would never take her back permanently.

She couldn’t ask it of him.

She placed a hand on her stomach, her heart squeezing painfully. She had longed for a child with Patrizio; how cruel would it be if it turned out not to be his? She knew she would love it regardless—it was totally innocent in the wreckage she had made of her life—but it would haunt her for the rest of her days that her impetuous actions had led to yet another life being a casualty.

She reached past the testing kit in her bag for her phone and looked at it for a full thirty seconds, her forehead furrowed with indecision. Then, drawing in a breath that caught at her throat like a twig being swallowed, she slowly began dialling…

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

‘GARTH?’ Keira held the mobile closer to her ear to block out the noise of the students passing the studio. ‘It’s me—Keira.’

‘Oh…Hi, Keira,’ Garth said. ‘Um…I was going to call you. I wanted you to be the first to know my news.’

‘What news is that?’ she asked.

‘I’m moving to Canada. I’m getting married. I’m leaving in just over a month.’

‘Congratulations. Mum mentioned something about you seeing someone from abroad. I’m really happy for you.’

‘Yeah, well, thanks,’ he said and, clearing his throat, added, ‘I hear you got back with Patrizio.’

‘Yes,’ she said perhaps a little too brightly. ‘I’m very happy.’

‘That’s great, then…great.’

‘Garth, I was wondering if we could meet up some time to chat,’ she said. ‘Are you free in the next day or so?’

‘I’m pretty busy, what with planning the wedding and all…’

‘It’s really important,’ she said. ‘It’s about…about that night.’

‘Look, Keira, it’s best if we just forget about it. It happened, OK? I don’t want my fiancée to hear about it. I’ve put it behind me and so should you.’

‘I think I’m pregnant.’

‘That’s wonderful, Keira,’ he said. ‘That’s absolutely wonderful news. I’m happy for you. It’s what you’ve always wanted.’

‘Garth…you don’t understand…’ She gulped in a ragged breath. ‘It could be yours…’

There was a long pulsating silence.

‘Garth, did you hear me?’ she asked.

‘Yes…’he said, his voice sounding like a stranger’s. ‘Yes, I heard you.’

‘I don’t know what to do…I’m so scared…’

‘It can’t be mine, Keira.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ she asked.