The Adoration of Jenna Fox (Jenna Fox Chronicles 1)

‘So, you’re good at memorization, but do you have an opinion? Is there any way to pass that invisible boundary besides dropping out like Thoreau did?’

Why is he baiting me? I feel my eyes narrow, and my voice is close to a growl when I speak. ‘Nature and human life are as various as our several constitutions. Who shall say what prospect life offers to another? Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?’ Ethan’s face relaxes, his eyes soften, like he has lost his mad-dog bead of concentration. But I haven’t. ‘Although that’s just another rote memorization, isn’t it?’ I add. ‘But since you might be a higher order of some sort of being, maybe if you try really hard, you can pull an opinion from it without your head exploding.’

I stand to leave. I’ve had enough. In Dane’s words, I’m out of here. But even as I stand, I am wondering, do I look normal? What does a normal angry person look like? Should I sit back down? What am I doing? What am I? That again.

Another stalemate as I stand awkwardly at my desk, my hands trembling, my anger fusing with my doubts.

‘Short break, Rae?’ Allys suggests.

‘Sure,’ Rae answers, jumping on the suggestion quickly. I take it as a justified release and head for the door. Footsteps follow close behind. A trampling down the narrow hallway, past Mitch, who looks up in surprise, but we are already out the door and down the steps before she can respond.

Ethan grabs my arm from behind and swings me around. ‘What’s your problem?’

‘What’s yours? You sulk when I interrupt you, and you become an ass when I don’t.’

‘I don’t get it. On Saturday you were kissing me like I was the last boy on the planet, and today you won’t say two words to me. Not even a hello. What did your grandmother say after I left? Stay away from the dickhead?’

A lifetime has passed since I kissed him on Saturday. I am a different person now. Maybe a different thing. How can I explain that to him? I look at his face. I see everything. Every expression, wrinkle, twitch, doubt. More than I should. Is that the difference between a neuron and a neural chip? Can I now see deeper than the normal human perceptions? Does Father know about this? Or maybe this is normal? Was it always there for me to see, and I am only just now truly looking?

The questions may drive me mad. Even now, he wants to kiss me. I can see that, too. Would he still want to kiss if he knew about me? Everything in the universe says it’s not right. That’s my invisible boundary. I look at his hand, still clutching my arm, and I wonder if it will be the last time we ever touch. Should I even be thinking about these things? Stay away.

‘Back off, loser.’ Dane appears behind my shoulder.

‘Stay out of this, Dane,’ Ethan shoots back.

Dane pushes Ethan’s shoulder. ‘Go beat up someone else, lowlife.’

Ethan lets go, his eyes blinking to pinpoints, his hand held in front of him like it’s on fire.

‘Dane, it’s not what—’ Before I can finish explaining, Ethan is already gone, headed toward his truck in the parking lot.

Dane shakes his head. ‘You know what he did, don’t you?’

I look after Ethan. It’s better this way. But it doesn’t feel better. ‘Yes,’ I answer.

‘I doubt it, or you’d stay away from him. He nearly killed a man. Beat him up so bad, he was in a hospital for a month.’

I think of Ethan’s hand on my arm and the fear in his eyes when he let go. ‘Maybe he didn’t have a choice.’

‘They threw him in jail for a year. I guess they thought he had a choice.’

I wonder.

‘C’mon, break’s over.’ Dane grabs my hand and pulls me back inside.

Ethan doesn’t return, and I spend the rest of the afternoon worrying about him instead of my own problems. Will he come back?

Dane tries to catch my attention over and over again. I watch him, the smile that twists his lips but never reaches his eyes. He’s missing something. That’s what Allys said. How does she know? Can she see something missing in me? He makes no secret of his flirtations. It is more of a game to him than any serious interest in me. Beat Ethan at something.

I contemplate spinning my head around three times or popping my eyeballs out and setting them on his desk. Can this freakish new body do that? The possibilities could almost amuse me. Would Dane still be so cocky then?

Probably.

The Greenhouse

Steamy droplets slide down the inside of the door. My fingers touch the glass. I am not invited in any sense.