Where We Left Off (Middle of Somewhere 3)

“Gah! Jesus. Sorry.”

Will silently pulled my plate toward him and moved most of the sushi onto his own, replacing it with a few things from his and a few from a container to his right, then pushed it back to me where I eyed it suspiciously.

“It’s tempura. It’s fried. You’ll be fine.”

I took a cautious bite, but it mostly tasted like sesame-y onion rings, so I munched happily as Will watched me with a mildly amused expression.

After dinner, we flopped onto the couch, and Will put on Orphan Black. I fell asleep in about ten minutes, the exhaustion of the day catching up with me, and woke up halfway on top of Will where I must’ve snuggled him in my sleep. He was asleep too, head thrown back against the couch. The naked curve of his throat in the moonlight was irresistible. I kissed his neck softly.

“Will?”

His nose scrunched at the sound. “Mmphm.”

“Do you wanna go to bed?”

He nodded sleepily, but his hand was in my hair, and he was kind of… cuddling me.

My heart started racing. Fully aware that I might be pushing my luck—that I might be gambling for a hundred with a twenty and lose both, I said, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

His eyes tracked from mine down to my mouth, then up again. Then, in a movement so slow I almost thought I was imagining it, he nodded.

I stood up and held out a hand to him, pulling him up. Will moved into my arms like it was natural and we went to his room. I brushed my teeth thoroughly, nervous that I had sushi breath, then made my way to the bed. In the dark, all I could really make out was the light sweep of Will’s blond hair.

I’d been so sleepy a minute before, but now I was wide-awake.

And intensely nervous.

I stood there for a minute, trying to figure out how this was going to go. Should I kiss Will? Would he—

“Leo, get in the bed and go to sleep.”

“Oh, but I—um, are we—”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say,” I grumbled.

He snorted. “We’re not having sex, just come the hell to bed. I’m so tired.”

“What time did you leave this morning, anyway?” I slid into bed next to him.

“Like six.”

“Is everything okay at work? Why’d you go in so early? You don’t usually go that early, do you? No, you don’t. I—”

The pillow hit my face and Will pulled the covers up over it, encasing me in a cocoon of Will-smelling warmth. He held the pillow there for a minute. I mean, I could still breathe and everything, he was just making a point. When I relaxed into the bed, he took his pillow back and shoved it under his head, turning onto his stomach.

“What kind of sheets are these?” I asked. “They’re so comfy.”

Will groaned. “Leo!”

“But I’m suddenly not tired anymore,” I said.

“Yes, you are. You just forgot about it momentarily because penises don’t run on the same clock as the rest of us.”

“You mean like a dessert stomach? A cock clock?” I started giggling. Then I laughed some more. Then I turned over to tell Will something terribly important, but I couldn’t possibly because I was so very, very asleep.

I FINALLY decided on the direct approach.

“I want us to have sex,” I said as we did the dishes the next night. “Okay?”

Honestly, I’d kind of expected surprise at my boldness or… something. But Will just snorted dismissively and said, “You’re nineteen. You want to have sex with everything.”

“That’s not true!” I insisted. “Besides, I’m more mature than you. You’re a child basically, only with, like, dicks instead of toys.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that. I take mine, and I go home as soon as I’m sick of playing.” He waggled an eyebrow at me as he dried the final dish, then walked to his desk and starting preparing things for work the next day.

“Will, I’m serious.”

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Yeah, I know.”

Well that was… not encouraging.

“So then… what? Am I really that bad?”

“No, of course not,” Will said.

“Then I don’t get it. You’ll sleep with all those strangers—with guys you don’t even like—with guys you kinda hate, but not with me?”

Will cut his eyes to me sharply, though his voice was only a mild warning. “Careful, Leo.”

“Sorry, sorry, just….” My stomach turned over. “You must really not want me at all, I guess?”

Will opened his mouth and an expression I’d never seen before crossed his face. It was heavy and complicated. I got irritation and curiosity and… maybe fear? I’d never seen Will look afraid before so I couldn’t be sure.

“You’re sure that’s what you want?”

“Well, jeez, don’t sound too excited.”

Now I just felt stupid, like I was talking him into something he really didn’t want. But Will was still looking at me like he expected an answer. Which was ridiculous because I was pretty sure the fact that I wanted Will was up there with “global warming is real” on the list of stuff that is obvious.