The Last Wish of Sasha Cade

Sasha believed that everything happens for a reason. But this? It can’t possibly be a good thing.

With a deep breath, I focus on the tulips in my hand, arranging them just the way Izzy taught me. I work quickly, my fingers relying on muscle memory because my mind is elsewhere. Thinking about how I don’t even know Elijah, not really. I don’t know his favorite color or food or song. I don’t know what keeps him up at night, if he’s ever broken any bones, if he’s allergic to anything. His first kiss, his first heartbreak. These are the things you should know about a person before you go and fall in love with them.

Just thinking about the L-word makes me cringe. He’s Sasha’s brother. This can’t happen.

The herbal stink of expensive marijuana announces the arrival of my boss from the back of the shop. She floats into the room, humming a song to herself.

“This order is ready,” I say, doing one final fluff of the sprigs of baby’s breath before moving the vase over to the shelf of today’s orders.

“Girl, who took the sunshine out of you?” Izzy asks.

“Huh?” She looks like she could punch someone, and that’s saying something because this woman wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“Something’s bothering you,” she says. She reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out half a dozen glass vials, searching until she finds the one she wants.

“Hold out your wrists.” I do as she asks and she rubs a clear oil on both of my wrists. It smells fresh and fragrant, like a garden after a rainstorm.

“Bergamot,” she says, watching me intently as she caps the vial and puts it back in her pocket. “It’ll help with your … depression, my dear.”

“Um, thanks. I’m not really depressed.” My stomach aches as I reach for the next order slip, a bouquet of pink assorted flowers. “I don’t know what I am, but I don’t think it’s depressed.”

“It happens to all of us,” Izzy says, taking the next order slip after mine and setting up her vase next to me on the table. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were … happy. And maybe worried about that.”

I laugh before I get the good sense to hold it back. Running a hand through my hair, I shake my head. “You might be right about that. I don’t deserve to be excited about anything right now.”

Except Sasha’s next adventure.

“Never be ashamed of your emotions,” Izzy says, tapping my shoulder with a l

ong-stemmed rose. “The world is a rough place. We need to find happiness where we can and hold on to it with fury.”

***

Hey favorites,

“I never knew love until I met you / I never knew pain until I lost you.”

Ah, Zombie Radio. Is there any better band in the world? Don’t bother replying, the answer is no. Four guys from Corpus Christi, Texas … four super-cute guys … formed this band when they were in high school. They worked their asses off, indie-produced their first albums and then got a small record deal just two years ago. Now look at them, on posters at Walmart and shit. Elijah, this band is my jam. My favorite musical group on earth. I know you’ve never listened to them from our talks together, so I, being the greatest sister and best friend on earth, have arranged something special for you guys. Friday, October 7th, Zombie Radio is playing a show in Houston at a place called The Engine Room. See the attached PDF of your tickets, complete with parking pass because I am awesome. God, I wish I could be there, but if they let my spiritual body hang out on earth, I promise I’ll be there. Not with you guys in the crowd, of course, but with JJ and his drum set. *drool*

Those boys know how to write a love song better than they know how to rock a pair of skinny jeans, and trust me, that’s saying a lot. I love love and I love this band.

You guys have fun, okay? Jam out, rock out, dance, sing, have a blast. Do it for me.

You’re going to love this.

Almost as much as I love you guys.

Love you and miss you both,

Sasha

P.S. Rocki, sneak into my bedroom and steal that size large ZR shirt from my closet. It’s the one with the skeleton on the front and we got it at their Austin show that time they were sold out of every other size, remember? Elijah should wear it to the show, because I am NOT going to let my fam show up wearing a regular shirt. No way.

Houston is two hours southeast of Peyton Colony, and although I’ve never gone to a concert that far away without Sasha, I try not to let the logistics worry me. The first thing I do is rush into the kitchen and check Dad’s work schedule. He’ll be gone on the seventh. Perfect. Dad is about a thousand times more overprotective than my mom, and that means I have six days to come up with a plan. Easy. It won’t be the first time I’ve bent the truth a little to stay out all night at a Zombie Radio show. Those guys are the best band in the world, after all, and three of the four members were my epic crushes from fifth to tenth grade. JJ has always been Sasha’s crush, so I let her have him like a real best friend should.

Now that I have an excuse to contact Elijah without it seeming weird, I email him asking if he wants to meet up halfway between Austin and Peyton Colony and ride the rest of the way to Houston together. My heart does this little pitter-patter of excitement. After two heart-wrenching adventures, we’re getting a fun one. Zombie Radio puts on an amazing show. I haven’t seen them live since before Sasha’s diagnosis. It feels like ages ago.

I try not to let it bother me when Elijah hasn’t replied to my email the next day. Or the day after that. He hasn’t let me down before, so he won’t let me down now, right?