The Last Wish of Sasha Cade

“Honey, come here,” he says, pointing his beer at the chair next to him.

I rip open a packet of Pop-Tarts and sit, taking a bite. “What’s up?” I ask.

“Something’s wrong with you.” It’s not a question, but a statement. “Want to talk?”

I take another bite, needing to eat quickly so I can get to work. “Nothing’s wrong, Daddy. I promise.”

He shakes his head and reaches over, breaking off a piece of my second Pop-Tart. “I haven’t seen Zack around here lately.”

“Oh,” I say, staring at the red sprinkles on top of my overprocessed pastry. “We broke up.”

“Really?” He sounds more impressed than surprised, though his eyebrows shoot up anyway. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

I roll my eyes. “No you aren’t, Daddy. You’re probably just as happy as Sasha is.”

Right after it’s out of my mouth, I wish I could take it back. Instead, I do this weird backpedaling thing, and the half-eaten Pop-Tart crumbles in my fingertips. “I mean, you know, she never liked him. So she’s probably psyched that we’re over, I mean, if she was here, you know? Like, maybe in heaven, she’s happy about it.”

“I get it,” Dad says, taking another sip of his beer. “Honestly, I don’t think any of us liked that boy very much. You’re better off without him, but I don’t think you should be sad about it.”

“I’m not,” I say quickly. “I’m fine with it. Seriously.”

Dad’s tanned skin crinkles between his eyes. “Then what is it? I go back to work in the morning and I hate leaving knowing you’re upset.”

Once again I’ve been asked a question I can’t answer. The concert is tomorrow night and I still haven’t heard a word from Elijah. That’s what’s bothering me.

Lies fall out of my mouth so easily these days. “I want to go to this movie marathon tomorrow night,” I say, making my face all insecure and angelic, like the lying daughter that I am. “It’ll be like five hours and I’m afraid to ask Mom if I can go … because, well, Sasha …”

“What about Sasha?” Dad asks.

“I guess I just feel bad about going out with new friends when Sasha hasn’t been gone very long. I’m afraid it might disappoint Mom.”

I feel so dirty saying all of these lies. But I know exactly what Dad’s going to say in reply, and if it works, then I’ll have permission to go to the concert.

“Oh, honey.” He reaches over and puts a hand on my arm. “Sasha was your best friend and that means she wanted what was best for you. You should definitely go to the movies. I’ll talk to your mom for you.”

All of this shame will mean nothing if Elijah doesn’t show up. I plaster on a sad smile and run a hand through my hair. “Thanks, Dad.”

***

Izzy takes my wrists and rubs some essential oils on them before I’ve even had time to put my purse and car keys under the front counter. “Your aura is troubled, kiddo.” She caps the oil bottle, sets it on the counter and then presses my wrists together, rubbing them until the oils are absorbed in my skin. “I know I’m just an old lady, but you can always talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” I say, even as I heave a massive sigh. Wordlessly, I move to the back table and survey the order slips for the day. Since it’s October, we have a few fall harvest baskets of flowers and two Halloween-themed spooky vases that come with black roses and plastic vampire teeth, along with one birthday bouquet for a woman turning ninety-nine.

I get to work, well aware of the fact that Izzy is watching me, probably wanting me to spill my guts to her. But I won’t. I can’t. This secret is mine, Sasha’s and Elijah’s. And neither of them are talking to me right now.

It’s less than twenty-four hours until the show, and Elijah hasn’t confirmed if he can go or not. Deep down, there’s a tiny little voice that tells me maybe he doesn’t have internet access right now. Maybe I should chill out. It’s possible, right?

But the larger voice, the one that consumes me wholly, knows that’s not the case. He works at a place where he can use the computer and he’s currently in the middle of the adventure of a lifetime from his dead sister. There’s no way he hasn’t checked his email.

He’s avoiding me.

He knows. He totally knows that I am falling for him. That my heart is so freaking stupid it can’t simply be friends with a guy like Elijah; it wants more.

And clearly Elijah doesn’t want that, or he’d be replying. He’d be seeking me out.

Tears cloud my vision as I work, taking another rose as black as my heart. Sasha gave us the best gift ever and I went and ruined it by falling for her brother like some kind of lovesick idiot. Of course he wouldn’t feel the same way. Why would he? Sasha trusted me, and I let her down.

A sob rises in my chest and I force it down. Unfortunately, the only thing that does go down is the black glass vase in my hand. It hits the concrete floor and shatters, large pieces of black skittering all over the place.