“I’m making you an appointment today.”
“But—” she objects.
I raise an eyebrow that dares her to challenge me. “I’ll put you on my insurance and I’ll pay for it. I don’t care. That’s my relative in your uterus and I won’t let it have subpar medical care.”
Without a word, Miranda drops the pins in her mouth, stands up and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back. For a long while we just stand here, her arms around me and my hand on the back of her head, pressing her to me in a way I know she needed from her mother. “It’s going to be okay,” I tell her.
When she pulls away there are tears running down her cheeks. “I’m scared,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “We will get through this. I won’t leave you and I will not let you do this alone.” She wipes the tears away from her eyes and I put my arm around her shoulder, making us face the mirror. It’s hard looking at yourself in a shiny piece of glass when you know the person looking back at you has something to be afraid of. “Even if I have to take those stupid Lamaze classes with you, I will.”
This gets a laugh out of her. It’s funny, how as I stand here both scared for myself and scared for Miranda, a little laughter makes me feel like it really will be okay. Something flickers in the corner of my eye and I turn, half expecting to see Grandpa there, arms folded in front of his chest as he wears his signature smile of success, happy that he’s taught me a valuable lesson. But it must have been a trick of the light because when I turn around, I see nothing but the bare wall.
The only ob-gyn in the area doesn’t have any open appointments for the next two weeks. The nurse on the phone suggested that I take Miranda to a general physician for an exam if there is nothing medically wrong with her, but I don’t trust any old general physician. She needs the best. And she’ll just have to wait two weeks to get it.
I hang up the phone and set it on the kitchen counter. Calling a doctor for Miranda was my only task on the yellow to-do list notepad I bought for a dollar and stuck on the refrigerator. I let out a long, embarrassingly loud, groaning sigh even though no one is around to hear it so it’s not really embarrassing. I’m at a total crossroads in my life right now and I haven’t the slightest idea what to do about it.
Despite how relaxing it is just lounging around all day watching DVDs of my favorite television shows and painting my toenails a different color every day, I know it’ll get old sooner or later. No one can lounge around doing nothing forever.
I have no job, no friends, no life, and no things on my to-do list to keep me distracted from thinking about it. Not since my freshman year of college when I got mono and had to drop all my classes have I ever been so stuck with nothing to do. It’s nice at first. Then it turns into a nightmare.
While staring at my to-do list, I cross out call doctor - Miranda and add to it: job, friends, life. There. Now I have a to-do list.
Chapter 4
My cell phone rings at an ungodly hour in the morning. I roll over on my air mattress and grab the phone off the floor, yanking it from the charger. It’s a phone number I don’t recognize. Oh, and it’s six in the evening. Not such an ungodly hour after all.
“Hello?” I ask, not knowing what to expect.
“Hey there.” It’s way better than anything I could have expected. It’s Tyler.
“Hey. My rent check’s not late, is it?” I say it in jest, but in reality I’m not even sure what day it is. Every day blurs into the next one when you’re jobless. Although I’m pretty sure we’ve only been here a week.
“I didn’t call for business.” His voice has a playful tone to it that sends a shiver down my spine. I roll over in bed and close my eyes.
“Then why did you call?”
“You want to get a drink tonight? Pop-a-Top?”
“What is Pop-a-Top?” I ask. I try to sound like I don’t care what it is or what he’s asking, but I can hardly breathe without hyperventilating. Is he asking me out? There’s no way he’s asking me out.
“It’s the only bar in town that
’s decent enough to take a woman. I know I could use a drink and since you don’t know anyone in town, I thought maybe you could come along.”
“Ah, okay,” I say with my eyes still closed. I’m trying to picture Tyler’s chiseled tan face but all I see is the back of my eyelids. It’s definitely not a date offer, though. Just a feeling-sorry-for-the-new-girl kind of thing. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes in an effort to wake up. I’m not a charity case. “No, thanks. I’m good.”
The other end of the phone is silent for a few seconds. My mouth opens, but I feel kind of stupid asking if he’s still there, so I don’t say anything. With the terrible reception in this town, maybe he isn’t there anymore.
He clears this throat. “Well…okay then.”
I swallow and try not to think about how his voice sounded a like a mixture between bitter and disappointed. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. It’s not like I’m trying to impress him. I smile so it shows in my voice when I say, “Thanks anyway. I’m not much of a drinker.”
“You don’t have to drink. You could come just for the scenic view.”
“There’s scenic views in Salt Gap?” I ask. It sounds sarcastic but I’m being serious.
He laughs. “Okay maybe that was a lie. Does seeing Big Large’s butt crack when he bends over to play pool count?”