Battle Hearts (Storm MC Reloaded 3)
She bites her lip. Like she’s on the cusp of believing me but still not quite sure whether to. Then, fucking finally, she brings her lips to mine. Her hands meet my skin. And she gives me what I need: her wide-open heart.
After drawing the kiss out, lingering with me in ways I love, she says, “I feel like I’m going fucking crazy. Between the headaches, hot flushes, night sweats, and now this muscle pain, I may just lose my mind. Add to all that my insane moods, and I’m not sure how we’re going to get through this.” She presses her body harder to mine. “Promise me you won’t ever give up on me.”
“Fuck, Birdie, you know that’s never going to happen. Fucking never.”
Tears fill her eyes as she nods. “I know, but honestly, my head is all over the place screwing with me so much that there are moments I believe you might. And although I tell myself it’s irrational, I can’t get rid of the thoughts. I told you I’m going crazy.”
Max was right; she’s overwhelmed and struggling. I’m angry with myself that I didn’t see this sooner. I should have. “You’re not going crazy. But I think we need a set check-in each day where you share all the thoughts you think are crazy so I can assure
you they’re not.”
She smiles through her tears. “I’d like that.”
“And while I promise I won’t ever give up on you, I need a promise you’ll share all your thoughts with me, even if you think they’re fucked up.”
Hooking her leg over mine, she says, “I promise.”
Thank Christ.
I need to make sure we stay tight while she’s on these damn drugs. They’re more fucked up than I ever imagined, and I’ll be damned if I allow them to ravage our relationship.
8
Birdie
* * *
“Tell me everything,” Cleo says late Friday afternoon when I call to let her know how I went at the IVF clinic this morning. I had to go in for a blood test and an ultrasound to check if my body is ready for the next stage.
“So my levels aren’t where they need to be yet, which means I can’t start stims yet.”
“Stims?”
I eye myself in the bathroom mirror, noting the breakout I’m having on my face. Goddam drugs. “Sorry, the stimulation phase. They call it stims.”
“Oh, right. Gotcha. Did Winter go with you?”
“Yeah. And Max came too.”
“What? Not into the ultrasound surely.” She sounds horrified at that idea, which makes me laugh.
“God, no. He waited outside. He only came with us because we were dropping him at the airport afterwards. But it was nice having him around, you know? I felt super supported with them both there.”
“Are you okay with the fact you’re not ready for the next stage yet?”
“Yes and no. I mean, I’m way past ready for it mentally, but you don’t need to worry about me losing my shit over not being ready physically.” Cleo and I talk every day, so she knows I’ve felt out of control since starting the fertility drugs. Like Winter, she’s checking on me regularly now.
“And everything’s good at work?”
I exit the bathroom and make my way to the kitchen. Winter’s at the clubhouse taking care of something that came up, and I’ve decided to cook him something he loves for dinner, so I want to get started on that soon. “Everything has gone really well. Andrea stepped up and took over more responsibility, which was a godsend.”
Andrea is the person I’ve been slowly training up to be my office manager, and this week she took charge of some stuff when she could see I struggled to take on extra Pilates classes and keep on top of all the admin work. It was perfect timing because now I feel confident to give her more jobs while I move further into my IVF cycle.
“That’s fantastic news.”
“How about you? How’s your week been?” We talk about me so much, I feel bad that Cleo maybe doesn’t get to share all her news.
“Besides being ready to kill Mark, all is good up here.”