On Your Knees, Prospect (Kings of Hell MC 3)

“Oh, no... does that hurt?” he asked, gently brushing his fingers along the wound. It wasn’t exactly bleeding, but the black scab-like substance felt like loose dust against his fingers.

The nod he got from Jake, the way the wing flinched from touch were unbearable. But worse still, Jake pulled away with his head and faced away from Vars.

“Jake, please, listen to me. It’s my fault, I know. I made a promise, and then I panicked...”

Jake’s exhale turned into a cloud of hot vapor.

“That man Jake, that was the boyfriend I ran from,” whispered Vars, stroking Jake’s shoulder. He needed to make Jake understand what pushed him to do what he had, even if Vars himself could never excuse his own behavior. The trust Jake had put in him was so precious, and he’d broken it out of fear, something a man of his age and experience should no longer be ruled by.

Jake’s eyes turned back to Vars, so pretty and human they looked unnatural in the monstrous face, yet just knowing the hot, scale-covered skin was a shell around Jake made the creature endearing in its ugliness.

He made a hissing sound time and time again. At first, Vars wanted to back off, afraid this was a warning before an onslaught of fire, but he finally understood that Jake was struggling with the word ‘sorry’. A cold shudder went down his back when he realized it was a regression in comparison to the previous transformation—back then Jake had little issue forming words. Was he simply becoming more bestial each time? Elliot’s words tore into Vars like a hacksaw. Roger never turned human again after the third time. Was this what awaited Jake if he changed once more? Entombed forever in Azog’s thick skin, he would eventually die because of Vars’s selfish decisions.

“‘Sorry’? Is that what you mean?” Vars asked to make sure, and when Jake nodded with the head that was twice its normal size, Vars pulled him close again and kissed the warm, scaly cheek. “It’s okay. I already forgave you. You didn’t know what kind of person he was.”

Jake nodded once more, this time pushing his head into Vars like a giant, winged dog, not a monster. Vars shut his eyes and petted Jake’s shoulders, which were still damp from the melted snow. “I should have never done what I did. I betrayed your trust. I’m sorry. I realized as soon as it happened, but it was too late.”

Jake whined in response, but even though his wing was wounded and oozed black muck, he still put it over Vars, enclosing them in warmth of privacy. Guilt was growing roots deeper and deeper in Vars’s heart as he spoke again, wanting to provide at least a sliver of explanation for why he’d robbed Jake of his safety buffer before the final transformation.

“There’s something you don’t know about me. My ex, he-he killed me,” he whispered, briefly losing his voice as the memory suddenly tossed him back into the hot bath he couldn’t escape. But Jake was solid next to him, and the cold snow melting into Vars’s pants reminded him that he was in fact somewhere else.

The sound Jake made had the tone of a question, and the monstrous face of the gargoyle nuzzled Vars’s chin. No matter how ugly the creature was, it was somehow now loveable, because it was his. Mindlessly, Vars touched the collar on Jake’s neck and looked into his beautiful eyes. “He killed me. He drowned me in my own bathtub. And I... sometimes it feels like I’m dying all over again.”

Jake moaned something that sounded like “no”, and pulled the wing tighter over Vars, locking them close. Vars shut his eyes, pushing deeper into Jake’s arms. “I know you want me to be a rock, but I’m not. When you die, there’s nothing. It’s cold, and lonely, and empty, and I don’t want to go back.”

“I u-u-under...stand,” Jake managed to say after several attempts at forming the words. His warm breath was soothing on Vars’s cheek, and they pressed close.

“It’s all real, Jake, the ghosts Elliot sees, demons, and gargoyles. And I’ve been raised from the dead. But I won’t get another chance. I shouldn’t have protected myself at your cost, but in the moment, I was just so overwhelmed,” Vars choked out, clinging to the huge body, even though he didn’t feel worthy of its warmth.

Jake nuzzled him again, as if he’d already forgiven Vars. His warm, strong arms settled around Vars and pressed him close to the oversized torso covered by scales. Vars never thought he’d feel so safe by a creature others would consider a monster, but this wasn’t a monster. It was Jake.

“Hu-hu... man. At d-dawn,” Jake said in a soothing voice, as if it was Vars who needed cheering up, not the poor boy turned gargoyle against his will and shot.