Gray's Shadow (Kings of Hell MC 4)

The silence rang in Gray’s ears. He swallowed, squeezing the edge of the table as the drumming deep inside him spread out to his limbs and pulsed in every joint of his body.

“No. I’m exactly the same person I was. And I will prove it to you!”

The concern on Fox’s face was worse than Beast’s words have been. Gray didn’t need anyone’s pity. He needed to get back to his old life as soon as possible, or he’d go crazy.

Vars cleared his throat. “I think what Beast wanted to say is that you need a bit more time to get used to this situation. Things should get back to normal once you are completely healed and get a prosthesis. Right?”

But Gray wouldn’t leave space for Beast’s lie. “It’s my decision.”

Beast frowned, his face twisting into a stern expression. “No. Actually, it’s not. If you can’t take a step back to protect your own life, do it for the club. You aren’t used to only having one hand yet, so you might act as if it was still there. We can’t have you fucking up and drawing attention to us.”

Gray clenched his teeth, his chest tense as he fought the instinct to breathe faster. Across from him, Rev cleared his throat.

“We all know Gray’s a fantastic fighter, and he won’t let this stop him. It’s only a matter of time until he’s good to go again, but maybe it is a bit early for that now. No reason to take a bigger risk than necessary, right?” he said, sliding his gaze over everyone gathered, even though Gray knew his father was actually speaking to him.

He sat, with an enormous weight on his shoulders.

Fox nodded. "It's not just that. There will be armed guards on that train, and we don’t even know how many. I think it’s riskier to dive in without thinking things through than wait a week or two more. The world isn’t coming to an end just yet."

“Who else is against?” Beast asked, already holding his hand up.

All the others followed.

Gray didn’t even bother arguing anymore. “Is this all?” he asked, eager to leave.

“It is all,” Beast said, tapping his thick fingers against the wood.

Gray was halfway to the door when Rev caught up with him, huffing as if he’d ran a mile. “Wait. Could you give me a hand with something?”

Gray wanted to say no, he really did, but when his eyes met Rev’s, he couldn’t bring himself to. “Fine.”

They walked together in silence for a while, but Gray’s mind was a loud tangle of voices pulling him in different directions, one to self-pity, another—yelling at him to rebel.

They were headed to the jewelry workshop, and Rev finally spoke when they were alone and out of earshot. “Give it time, son.”

Gray rubbed his face, unconsciously picking up speed. “I feel fine. There’s no need for this.”

“You need to get used to your new situation. Would it be so bad if you spent more time working with me in the shop? With so many jewels passing through our hands, I’m barely keeping up, and I need to pass down the skill if the Kings are to stay in this business anyway. Not getting any younger.”

Gray’s breath stumbled. “You want me to be a jeweller now? Is that it? That’s what you think I’m only good for?” he asked, unable to keep the confrontational tone at bay. “You’re my father. You should know better than trying to have me sit on my ass all day.”

Rev frowned at him. “Something wrong with being a jeweller? It’s not the only thing I do, but it’s fucking useful to us all. Who else am I gonna ask? Nick, who’s got a sack of beans instead of a brain?”

Gray took a big gulp of air and counted to three. “I’m twenty-six, and I’m not retiring yet!”

Rev pushed open the door leading into the staircase. “Suit yourself.” He stilled, and Gray half-expected an angry outburst. Instead, Rev took a deep breath and looked at him, with no smiles or snippy comments. “You’re the only son I’ve got left, Gabriel. Please, take care of yourself.”

Gray balled his hands into fists, his eyes instantly stinging, even though he knew it was emotional blackmail. “Why do you have to mention him now?”

Rev’s wrinkled face tensed as if it were made of hardening concrete. “Because he did a stupid, reckless thing, and I don’t want you to end up like him. Is that so hard to understand?”

Gray took a step back, for a moment losing balance. There was some truth to what Rev was saying, as much as it hurt to admit it. Still, guilt expanded in his guts like a venomous snake about to eat him up from the inside. “Let’s not talk about it.”

“Let’s not. If you ever change your mind about the workshop, you know where to find me,” Rev said, but slammed the door shut, creating a physical border between them.