Gray's Shadow (Kings of Hell MC 4)

Gray shut his eyes when scented drops hit his face. “Well, yeah. And it smells nice, doesn’t it?” he asked before mentally chastising himself for talking to the creature as if he were a child.

Shadow gathered the water into his hands and poured it over his head time and time again until his thick hair ran straight down and into the water. He seemed to love splashing about, but while soaking in scented water was a good start, he still needed a wash. “It does. I was scared it would be freezing like last time,” he said with a genuine smile.

Right. Last time. When Gray had blasted Shadow with an icy shower as punishment for the attack. Being alone with Shadow had Gray on pins and needles, but he had since decided Shadow’s behavior shouldn’t be measured against that of humans. Still, it was hard to comprehend that a creature who killed two men less than an hour ago could be ‘scared’ of a cold bath.

“Back then, I was angry at you. Needed you to cool off,” Gray said.

The red eyes were pinned to Gray’s face, hungry for knowledge. “Why?”

Gray leaned on the edge of the tub, watching the strands of hair float close to the surface. He was glad he’d chosen to use the bath milk, because it gave the water a tint that obscured details of Shadow’s anatomy that he shouldn’t be wanting to see. “Because you attacked me.”

Shadow reached out to touch Gray’s face but froze midway, as if it finally occurred to him that he needed permission first. So he was learning to listen after all. That, or a week in the basement had been a sufficient deterrent.

“No, I just wanted to be close,” Shadow said and plunged his hand back into the water.

Gray swallowed, watching emotion float to the surface of Shadow’s face. “But I didn’t. I didn’t know you, and you wanted to force… closeness on me. You need to wait until the other person wants it too,” he said weirded out by how much it sounded like sex-ed. Then again, Shadow might have received the body of a man, but his mind didn’t comprehend many concepts that were obvious to normal people.

“I didn’t think closeness could be a bad thing. It still hurts here.” Shadow pointed to his chest, and for a moment Gray thought the creature meant its heart, but then he realized Shadow was pointing to the scar left behind by Gray’s knife. The reddened flesh was still healing. “How… can you feel so differently?”

Gray grabbed the shampoo and poured a generous dollop to the top of Shadow’s head where it glistened against smooth black hair. “People don’t always feel the same as you. It’s just how it is. Besides, you need to understand that if you’re stronger, if you’re… intending to be the one in control, it’s going to be an easier choice for you. Don’t expect everyone to want you just because you want them.”

Shadow looked up at Gray’s hands so rapidly he almost ended up with shampoo in his eyes, so Gray pushed his head back down. Every time Shadow obeyed his instructions reassured him that he should no longer worry about the strength hiding in the towering body being used against him. Clearly, Shadow was capable of processing new information and changing his behavior accordingly. In a clumsy way, but at least he listened.

“Where I’m from, you’re never alone,” Shadow said as Gray worked the shampoo into the tangled strands. They were stiff from grease, but Gray took his time to work the gel in.

“How so?” For the first time it struck him that he hadn’t asked Shadow much about his previous existence, instead desperately trying to keep him away. But what if the knowledge could help them win the battle with Baal that was still to come?

Shadow’s well-cut lips twitched, and he looked at Gray with a slight frown. “No one is their own self. We are all entangled in an endless stream. There is no passing time, no differences between us. We are one. But then Baal chose me, plucked me and made me a being in its own right. It’s hard to explain. I’m still trying to understand it myself. And then there’s you, and I feel that we are two parts of a whole, but I also know that I am myself. Maybe that’s why I can only be content when you touch me.”

Gray’s hands stilled in Shadow’s hair, but he soon resumed the massage of the scalp, leaning forward to glance into the brilliantly red eyes. “So… does that mean you feel lonely?”

Shadow nodded, his broad shoulders hunching. “The cell was the worst. Please don’t make me stay there again. When I’m around people, I understand the passing of time much better. In there… I was all alone. Cut off. Forever.”