Gray's Shadow (Kings of Hell MC 4)

Shadow’s lips tightened only slightly, and he locked his gaze with Gray’s, taking a slow, deep breath. The wooden limb that tightened its grip on his head, neck and shoulders, was draped with the fairy lights, which now cast their warm glow on Shadow’s features and hair. It was a surreal image somewhere between beauty and horror. At once, Shadow’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he rose to his toes, shoulders squaring, fingers curling into claws. His veins bulged, creating thick lines on his uncovered forearms, neck, and forehead, as if his blood pressure had suddenly risen.

“It’s okay,” Shadow said despite his voice sounding as tight as his muscles seemed to be. “Just close your eyes. It will be over soon,” he said as if it was Gray who needed soothing.

But Gray wouldn’t look away. This was the reality, and he would make himself face it, no matter how painful it was.

Tiny flecks of ruby-colored light lifted from Shadow’s skin, leaving it slightly paler, almost like white marble. Gray wanted to breathe them in—not because he didn’t want the tree to have what it was due, but because he wanted to keep a little bit of Shadow with him even after he was gone. He stepped forward and held Shadow’s hands, flinching when they squeezed around his almost painfully tight.

“Does it hurt?”

“N-no,” Shadow said in a voice so strained it sounded like it might break at any moment. His fingers twitched in Gray’s grip, just before he leaned forward, as if attempting to flee the hold of the branch. His entire body shook so violently only Gray’s support saved him from falling to his knees. The tiny red slices ripped from his flesh at a rapid pace, floating into the air like a cloud of ruby dust. The lights made the particles shimmer before being absorbed by the dull blackness of the tree.

“D-don’t lie to me,” demanded Gray, swallowing the rock in his throat. He put his arms around Shadow’s trembling body and held him tightly, hating himself for being the one to expose Shadow to this horror.

And worse yet, he’d planned to push the job on Knight to save himself the discomfort of witnessing this. He was such a coward. The least he could do was be with Shadow when he needed it the most.

The last flecks of red peeling off Shadow’s skin left tiny scratches, and once they were gone, Shadow dropped to his knees so suddenly Gray couldn’t keep him upright. They both landed in the grass, hugging one another so tightly Gray thought his ribs might crack. Behind Shadow, the parasitic monster bent back into shape so rapidly the lights draped over its branches shook, making shadows dance around them in a hellish rhythm.

Gray closed his eyes and cradled Shadow close, only to realize his own body was trembling too. He should be Shadow’s rock tonight, and he wasn’t able to do even that for him.

“I’m sorry.”

Shadow took a deep breath. “It’s over.”

They stayed completely still for a while, but no matter how much Gray tried to offer Shadow all of his attention, his mind was already rattling with what awaited them in just a month. He itched for an axe in a way he had never longed for anything else. How come this beautiful, sensitive man was to be sacrificed on the altar of Baal’s plans, and he could do nothing about it? What was all his skill even worth if he couldn’t save someone so deserving?

Shadow smiled at him, but his eyes had a watered-down color that made Gray choke up all over again.

Shadow’s life had always been meant to be short. It would be gone in the blink of an eye, and yet he rarely complained and seemed so dedicated to making every moment count. He wanted to be around people and make them happy, as if he knew that only this way his existence wouldn’t end up erased from memory. He might not have been human, but why should it matter if his emotions were as intense—if not more—as everybody else’s.

Gray swallowed, barely able to look into the eyes that were no longer the intense red he’d grown to appreciate. From now on, he’d always see the proof that Shadow was to leave him soon, and that there was nothing that could be done.

Unaware of the grim nature of Gray’s thoughts, Shadow pointed to the picnic basket, still weak from the energy transfer, yet recovering fast. “Can you stay for just ten minutes? I’ve got blue cheese, and kefir.”

Fermenting and moulding food products had been an exciting discovery for him, yet most endearing was that he’d been so happy they could share some of the same foods after all.

Gray looked at the basket, then up at Shadow. He’d lost. And his brothers would be just fine without him. “No. I’ll stay,” he whispered, resting his hands on Shadow’s chest.