There with You (Adair Family 2)

A tear escaped beneath my closed eyes before I could stop it.

“Hey, hey.” Suddenly the mattress depressed, and I opened my eyes to see the blurry vision of Thane getting into bed with me. “I’m here.” He pulled me into his hard, warm body, kissing my tears. “It’s over.”

Realizing he thought I was crying about today was a relief. So I cried harder, clinging to him, hating the voice in my head that urged me in a nasty voice to enjoy his attention while I could.

“You’re killing me,” he groaned, pressing a kiss to my head. “I should have been there.”

More shame flooded me and I shook my head, swiping at the tears. “No, no, don’t do that to yourself. I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day. And I get emotional when I have my period.”

His thumb pressed gently under my chin, forcing me to tilt my head to look at him. “By all accounts, you were bloody magnificent today … and I’m so grateful for that, mo leannan. But you should never have been in that position. Even not knowing about Sean’s loss, I should have known by his behavior that day in the car park to be on alert. Even the slightest hint of danger to Eilidh or Lewis … I should have been more cautious.”

“How?” I argued.

“I don’t know. Asked one of Lachlan’s security to shadow you while I investigated Sean myself. Instead of burying my fucking head in the sand and hoping it would just go away.”

Even as I pressed kisses to his chest to soothe him, something niggled at the back of my mind, pushing forward, making my heart beat fast.

Feeling me tense, Thane asked, “Mo leannan?”

“I have to tell you something.” I pushed into a sitting position, forcing myself to meet his gaze.

He frowned warily. “Okay?”

Taking a shuddering breath, I hated I had to explain to Thane what an impulsive moron I’d been, but he was right. Burying my head in the sand, hoping Austin would go away, was selfish and irresponsible. There had been nothing in months, and Robyn said Autry was monitoring him periodically … but he … Thane should know about his existence. Just in case.

In hushed words so I wouldn’t wake Eilidh and Lewis, I told him about the backpacking trip, the group of friends, the impulsive one-night stand, and the harassment that followed.

One time, maybe four or five weeks into the job as Thane’s nanny, he’d asked me why he never saw me on my phone, on social media. “I thought your generation couldn’t exist without it?” he’d teased. I’d given him a vague bullshit answer. Now I told him the truth.

“I had to delete all of my socials. My email. Block my number. When I was living in California, I was like a ghost.” I smirked unhappily. “But I don’t miss talking to people who don’t really care about me. Or checking my follows or likes. And not just because it keeps him out of my life, but because … I don’t need the validation like I did when I was younger.” I have everything I need when I’m with you.

Thane studied me, his eyes bright with concern as I went on to tell him about dating Maddox the asshole, and Austin’s return and his creepy, stealthy stalking at the coffeehouse.

“But since I’ve been here, nothing. Robyn knows, and her cop friend is keeping tabs on him.” I reached for his hand, squeezing, hoping he’d forgive me. “I didn’t say anything because of everything that happened with Lucy and Lachlan. It isn’t on the same level, and so I thought it was stupid to worry you. But I see it was selfish to keep it from you. You need to know about these things for the children’s sake. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, and I sighed with relief as he pulled me into his arms. “It’s fine, it’s okay. At least you didn’t keep it to yourself—you told Robyn. That’s good, Regan. I’m glad. I’m just sorry you had to go through that.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

Thane made a hoarse sound that was half amusement, half pain. “You protected my daughter like she was your own today, mo leannan. You could steal off into the night with all my money and I couldn’t be angry with you.”

God, I loved him so much. He had such a big heart. Caressing his chest where said heart beat a little fast within, I asked, for perhaps the hundredth time, “What does ma le-ow-nin mean?”

He was quiet for a moment as he stroked my upper arm with his fingertips. “Does the meaning matter?”

His question stopped me in my mental tracks.

When he used the endearment I was pretty sure was Gaelic, his voice grew softer, his tone tender.

I smiled at the realization. “No.” I snuggled deeper into him. “It doesn’t matter.”