Four Keeps

I duck into a bathroom, wishing I could splash cold water on my face, but that would make more work for the stylists. Instead I find the air conditioning vent and stand beneath it for a few minutes as my pulse returns to normal.

Johnny’s warning starts to nag on me now that his body isn’t around to distract me. Caleb and Gerard. I guess you can never tell, no matter how great a guy might seem. Though maybe I shouldn’t take Johnny’s words as gospel. Luckily, I have a spy in place to confirm the accusations. I’ll ask Brad to investigate.

When I return to the party, Marcus is waiting for me.

“How’s your evening going?” he asks as he steers me to a couch in a nearby room.

It’s recently started feeling like a rollercoaster ride, but I tell him things are fine.

He takes my hands in his as he looks into my eyes. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our date.”

“It was pretty great,” I say.

“Best date I’ve ever been on, and you’re the reason, Olivia.” He lifts one of my hands to his mouth and lays a kiss on the back of it. “I’m just going to put this out there, because I don’t see any reason to keep my cards close to my chest.” I nod, encouraging him to continue as I’m vaguely aware of a camera operator edging around to the side of us. “I really like you. A lot. And I think we could be great together.”

I smile back at him. The producers instructed me not to pour my heart out to the men until the show’s finale, not that I’d be ready to do that at this early stage anyway. They told me it’s best when the audience is kept guessing, though unfortunately that means the men will be kept guessing too.

Natalie explained that they want the men’s reactions to be authentic, and if I let them all know exactly how I’m feeling, much of the show’s drama will be ruined. It might be difficult in the future to hold in my feelings, but for now, with Marcus, it’s easy enough to smile pleasantly and respond with a squeeze of my hand.

“I hope we can go on another date soon,” I tell him. I would like to date him – that part is true – but with so many other men still here, I don’t think another one-on-one with him will be a reality any time soon.

“I’d love to take you on a date in my hometown,” he says as he rubs his thumb gently over the backs of my knuckles. “There’s this cozy little bistro that makes the best linguine with clam sauce.”

“That sounds nice.” I would tell him that I don’t like clams, but mindful that our conversation may end up on TV, I don’t want to disparage the specialty of a restaurant in his small town.

Marcus shifts to move closer to me. “The other thing I haven’t been able to stop thinking about is how it felt to kiss you.” He tilts my head and covers my mouth with his. I kiss him back, but I can’t fully get into the moment. Maybe it’s the distraction of the nearby cameras, or my recent tangle with Johnny that has me off balance.

Luckily, Marcus doesn’t seem to sense my distance. When we separate, he strokes my cheek. “I hope we get to do this again soon. In the meantime, I’ll be dreaming about you.”

He’s so sweet. What bad boy would say such nice things? At the pool party, Johnny said something about dreaming about me, but he was apparently referring to wet dreams. Marcus, on the other hand, is a gentleman.

I circulate for a while longer, hoping I can remember all of the things the men are telling me about themselves. Blake Barrows is here tonight hosting, and eventually he reappears and rings a bell to get everyone’s attention.

“It’s time for the evening to end, everyone. Men, I hope you got your time with Olivia, because the next time you see her, she’ll be making some big decisions and four of you will be going home.”

11

It’s a love/hate thing

I thought I’d have time to rest between the cocktail party and the commitment ceremony, but instead my day off from filming is filled with meetings and rehearsals. Since the commitment ceremonies will now be broadcast live, the producers give me detailed instructions about how things need to happen, and they want to make sure I’m comfortable with everything I need to say and do.

Just as I expected, when we discuss who I’d like to send home, Natalie urges me to keep Johnny and Xavier around for at least another week. “Viewers love both of them,” she tells me. “It’s a love/hate thing, but those two are drawing the most buzz on social media.”