Four Keeps

After several minutes pass, a voice intrudes on my lusty thoughts. “Hey, man, mind if I take over?” I’m pretty sure it’s Christian, and a quick glance confirms it. After Christian takes a turn, his strokes long and firm, but not nearly as naughty as James, Gerard takes his place, and then Samuel follows.

I grow more hot and bothered with each man. Samuel’s touch is tender, but soon has me squirming on the table as he slides his slippery hands sideways across my lower back, coming deliciously close to my ass. I’m assuming, as I do at all times, that cameras are on me, but if they weren’t, I’m pretty sure I’d turn over and pull Samuel down on top of me for a very happy ending.

Finally, Caleb comes over, and as his strong hands pick up where Samuel’s had left off, I find myself wondering if anyone has ever orgasmed while getting a back massage. Since I really don’t want to come on national TV, I force myself to think about spiders and snakes to bring myself back from the edge. No – not snakes. The thought of snakes isn’t helping at all.

Caleb’s movements slow, and he must be given a signal from the crew. “I have to stop,” he tells me, “even though I don’t want to.” Before he leaves me, he reclasps my bikini top, and I never knew a man helping to put clothing on me – rather than taking it off – could feel so intimate. I can imagine him helping me zip up dresses before we go out at night. His simple action makes me feel so cared for.

When we’re back in our robes, the six of us have wine as we relax on an oversized sofa in the garden. I’m grateful that the producers didn’t make the massages a competition, and I’m glad I’m not required to give out a ring on every group date, though if I had to choose the best massage-giver, it would probably be Caleb … or Samuel. Or maybe James.

How am I possibly going to narrow these men down to one if I can’t even choose my favorite massage?

Actually, an ideal massage would be all of them working on my body at once. I wonder if Bianca has ever had all of her men give her a massage together? Bianca fell in love with four brothers; how lucky she was not to have to choose.

Choosing sucks.

26

Beating hearts

As I prepare for my date with Xavier, I’m more nervous than I’ve been since the first night of the show. Part of me wants to eliminate him based on Brad’s suspicions, if only to make this week easier. If I send Xavier home tonight, then I only need to eliminate one more man at the ceremony this week.

But another part of me – the bigger part – doesn’t want to say goodbye to Xavier. I know I shouldn’t make decisions based solely on the sparks I feel – and there are so many sparks when I’m with Xavier – but it’s more than that. I genuinely like him, and despite the bad boy label I gave him that first night, he’s never shown me any bad boy behavior. But is he acting? Is he just on his best behavior for the cameras?

I’m determined to find out the truth about him and his motivations tonight.

Crewmembers take me to a small local airport, where Xavier is waiting near a helicopter. He looks even more nervous than I feel. At first, I think his nerves are about our date, but it’s soon apparent that he has a fear of flying.

“Have you been in a helicopter before?” he asks as we strap into our seats.

“No. You?”

He shakes his head. “I’ve had a fear of heights for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why.”

“It’s a common fear. I’ll help distract you.” Our eyes meet and we lean in at the same time to kiss, the best kind of distraction. Despite my fears about his motives for being here, I can’t help but respond to my attraction to this man, and I love that he’s being vulnerable with me rather than trying to hide his fears.

We hold hands while the helicopter rises and share several more kisses as it levels and starts to move forward.

Though we don’t let go of each other’s hands, the stunning views soon provide all the diversion needed. We fly along canyon walls, with stunning views of the red rock formations. We see ancient cliff dwellings, herds of deer, beautiful forests, and eventually, the sunset. Production has outdone themselves with this date.

Xavier seems to relax and he’s definitely enjoying the ride, but when I lean into him as the helicopter banks a turn, his heart pounds against my cheek. I put my hand on his chest to confirm what I felt. “Are you still feeling scared?”