Four Keeps

He covers my hand with his and shakes his head. “My heart always gets this way when I’m with you.”

When he brings his lips to mine, my heart rate amps up to match his. We snuggle close for the rest of the ride.

The second part of our date is dinner outdoors in a private courtyard at the resort. We spend the first half of the meal recalling the highlights of the spectacular helicopter ride, but as we near dessert, Xavier steers the conversation to more serious topics.

“I know you’re not supposed to reveal which man you’re planning to choose at the end of this, if you even know yet –” I shake my head to indicate that I do not, and he seems pleased by my reaction. “But I really like you.”

When I smile at him, he continues. “It’s been hard. I know you have other great options here, and I’m aware that there’s a good chance I’ll get my heart broken. I tried to hold back in the beginning, but I’ve decided that I need to just put myself out there. I need you to know how much I like you.”

His words make my heart swell, but I worry that they sound too good. Marcus always said nice things, and look what happened there.

I sit up straighter and watch his face as I respond. “I’m going to be honest with you. I like you a lot too, but I don’t know if I can trust you.” He appears to shut down a bit, but I continue. “I found out early on that Brad M. wasn’t interested in dating me, and he offered to be my spy at the mansion. He found out that Johnny and Marcus weren’t here for me, and he also had some concerns about you.”

Xavier’s brows draw together; he looks genuinely curious.

“He told me that he saw you talking to the crew a lot. Please tell me the truth, did they hire you to be here? Because Natalie has seemed to push us together at times, and I can’t help but wonder what her motives are, and what your motives are.”

He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of my knuckles. After a moment, I realize I’m holding my breath, waiting for him to respond.

“Olivia, do you remember the Hawaiian group date, when I won time alone with you?” I nod. “I told you then that I knew someone who works on the show?”

With so many men, and so many dates, that detail had slipped my mind, but I do remember now.

“My friend is Natalie.”

He pauses for a moment, letting me incorporate this new information into memories of my past experiences with her.

“She’s supposed to be impartial, but I’m not surprised to hear that she’s been rooting for me. She’s the one who told me she thought we’d be a good match, and the more I get to know you, the more I agree.”

The revelation is still sinking in. Natalie seemed to push me toward Johnny too, so I guess she has been somewhat impartial. I’m surprised to hear that she cares about anything aside from the show’s ratings.

“Through her, I know some of the others on the crew too, though I try not to talk with them too much. I guess I didn’t do a good job with that.”

“Brad just said you talked to production more than the other guys did. I think he was scrutinizing your behavior because … I told him I liked you.”

His face cracks into a grin. “Yeah? Is that right?”

I mirror his smile. “Maybe.”

He ducks his head before meeting my gaze again. “I hate that you had doubts about me. I know what it’s like to be hurt, and I would never do that to you. I wouldn’t mislead you.”

He sounds sincere; with the production question settled, I don’t think I have any reason to doubt him. I can’t believe I forgot about him mentioning his connection to someone on the staff.

“Coming on this show has been completely out of my comfort zone, but I’m very glad I did it. I’m only here to see if we have a connection, and I believe we do. I won’t hurt you, Olivia, and I hope you won’t hurt me, though I understand it could be inevitable.”

I put my hand briefly on his. “I promise not to mislead you or lie to you. I am conflicted, because I like all of the men who are left. I like some of them a lot, and you’re definitely in that category. I have big decisions to make and a lot of feelings to sort out.”

“That’s good enough for me. I wanted you to know exactly how I feel, and I’ll always be here for you if you need to talk or just have some fun. You don’t need to worry about anything else right now.”