Four Keeps

I insisted on seeing Bianca as soon as we arrived, and I think Natalie was happy to accommodate any requests that might help me make a decision. Before my friend and I can talk freely, there’s paperwork for Bianca to sign, and a mini lecture from Natalie on what we can and cannot discuss.

Bianca isn’t allowed to bring up anything she’s seen on news or social media sites. She can give her opinion on the remaining men, but only by referencing things she’s seen on the program, not from information she may have gathered from other sources.

I’m impatient and frustrated, and glad there’s only one more week of living under the show’s rules and restrictions. I understand the need for all of the rules – I really do, even though I’ve broken one or two – but I’m really tired of it.

As soon as we’re given clearance, Bianca and I set out on a walk through an area of the resort that’s been closed off for production. We’re finally allowed to talk – with cameras following us, of course.

I give my friend another hug for good measure. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“You too. I’ve been worrying about you. Are you okay?”

“Sure, sure. I’m fine,” I say. My friend gives me a look. The look. “Well, I mean, I’m fine in the basic sense of the word, but as you’ve probably seen, my heart is not fine.”

Bianca nods, understanding. “I was so proud of you at the last ceremony, O.”

My brows raise. This is not what I was expecting to hear from my friend who, despite her unconventional relationship with the Evans brothers, has always been a rule follower.

“I could have never done what you did,” she says. “You are so brave.”

My heart swells at her words, even as I protest. “I’m not sure it was bravery. If I was braver, I would have been able to send one of them home.”

“Not if you love them.”

Love?

Love? Is that what’s keeping me from being able to make a decision? Is that what has me torn up inside? As soon as I let the word sink in, the answer is clear.

I’ve fallen in love with them.

All four of them.

I groan, head in hands, and sink down on a nearby bench. “What am I going to do, B?”

She sits next to me and rubs my back. “You’re already doing it. You follow your heart.”

“So much easier said than done.”

“I know,” she says. “Believe me.”

I look up at her. “How are things going with you, by the way?”

Bianca’s cheeks immediately glow with a radiance that answers my question before she speaks. “Good. So good.”

“Are the Evans brothers treating you right?”

“They’re amazing, O. I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

I couldn’t be happier for my friend. She deserves every bit of happiness, and her four men are the lucky ones. “And how’s Lacy doing?”

“Oh my gosh, my sister hasn’t slowed down one bit, even though her belly is starting to get really big. Oh, and I didn’t tell you – she found out she’s having a boy.”

“That’s wonderful! I’ll bet she’s excited.”

“Apparently, my guys are excited about being uncles,” Bianca says. “The cutest little set of toy golf clubs arrived the other day; I don’t know which of them bought it. The baby isn’t due for a couple more months and they’re already buying gifts for him.”

“Sounds like they may be eager to be dads,” I observe.

Bianca hesitates for a moment and I nudge her. “What’s going on, B?”

“Nothing,” she says. “Not yet. We’re … we’re trying. That’s all.”

“Really? You’re ready?”

Bianca nods. “I didn’t think I’d be ready so soon, but it’s clear they’ll be great dads. Besides, the trying part is so much fun.”

We dissolve into laughter, though I’m groaning on the inside. I’m way overdue for that special kind of fun that can be had between a man and a woman.

It sounds like my BFF is having sex with four men every night; meanwhile, I’ve been surrounded by dozens of hot men and have had very little action to show for it. I’m definitely going to think twice before I ever again agree to be followed around by cameras for weeks on end.

I push aside my pent-up frustration and give my friend another hug. “Good luck with all of your trying.”

Bianca blushes like the virgin she used to be not so long ago.

Natalie appears on the periphery; beyond her, the sun is sinking into the ocean. Now familiar with the routines of production, I tell Bianca that we’ll probably need to go soon.

“What happens next for you?” she asks.

“Dates this week with each of the men. They’ll meet my parents. And then the final commitment ceremony, where I have to choose one of them.”

“Do you, though? Have to choose?”

I give my friend a long look. “I do. Unfortunately, my situation isn’t anything like yours. These men aren’t brothers who might be open to sharing a woman. They’re all from different parts of the country, all leading separate lives, and they came on the show to find someone to start a serious relationship with.”