Just a Bit Wrong (Straight Guys 4)

If he hadn’t been watching so carefully, he would have missed the barely noticeable stiffening in Tristan’s posture.

Tristan chuckled, a bright, amused smile appearing on his lips. “Don’t be an idiot. Me? I fucked him few times. It’s over now. Good riddance. It was getting boring.”

If he hadn’t grown up watching Tristan tell a lie with a straight face, he would have bought it. But he had. And this bright smile was the one Tristan reserved for hopeless situations, when he needed to bullshit his way out of them.

But…did it matter? Tristan’s answer was the one he had wanted to hear. He could leave now. It wasn’t like he really cared whether Tristan was upset or not. There were a few people Gabe cared for and Tristan wasn’t one of them.

He could leave. He could pretend he’d believed Tristan. He could. He probably should.

Except…except he couldn’t.

The problem was, since early childhood, Tristan had been the only constant in his life. They didn’t like each other, but he could always count on Tristan to remain the same self-centered, unfeeling dick. And seeing Tristan actually upset made him…uneasy, like the sky suddenly turned green.

“You’re lying,” he said.

A startled look crossed Tristan’s face, as if he didn’t expect Gabe to call him out on his bullshit, but the next moment, it was gone. “Don’t confuse me with you,” Tristan said. “I’m not you. I’m not stupid like you.”

Gabriel lowered his voice. “If you mean Jared—”

“Of course I mean Jared. Look at you.” A sneer curled Tristan’s lips. “All wrapped up in a man who will throw you away when he finds something better.”

Gabriel let out a laugh. “Yeah, right. Jared loves me.”

Tristan cocked his head, his expression almost pitying. “Now? Maybe yes. But you’re stupid if you think it will last forever. In a year or two, Jared will wake up and realize you’re not good enough. Because you aren’t and you never will be. And it will wreck you when he leaves you.” Tristan’s eyes held his. “Admit it: deep down, you know he will leave. That’s why you’re scared of losing him. You know people like us don’t get a happily ever after. I’m fine with it, because I don’t need it. I don’t need anyone. You used to be the same way, but now you…” Tristan gave him a look of disdain. “You were a pathetic, hollow shell while he was out of your life for a few months. What are you going to do when he leaves you for good? You’re such an idiot, Gabe.”

Gabriel bit out, “At least I’m not a pathetic, hollow shell all the time. At least I’m not a fucking coward.”

Tristan’s face went completely blank.

Gabriel stalked away, balling his hands into fists.

He told himself to ignore Tristan’s words. They had been aimed to hurt, to plant a seed of doubt; he knew that. Tristan was excellent at finding a weakness and hitting where it hurt most.

But his words kept ringing in his ears, over and over and over.

In a year or two, Jared will wake up and realize you’re not good enough. Deep down, you know he will leave. You know people like us don’t get a happily ever after.

His jaw clenched, he made his way into the training facility.

“Gabe!” Jared’s voice startled him.

Gabriel blinked owlishly when he was pushed into the nearest room and Jared’s concerned eyes peered at him.

“What’s wrong, Gab—”

Gabe kissed him desperately, looping his arms around him and holding on as tightly as he could. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he whispered between frantic kisses before burying his face in the hollow of Jared’s shoulder.

Jared’s arms tightened around him, and God, it felt so perfect and right, but it hurt. It hurt.

For a long time, Jared didn’t say anything, simply stroking his hair.

“What is this about?” he said after a while. “Is it Tristan?”

Gabriel laughed roughly. “I know I should never listen to him, but—but I’m scared that—I know he’s right.”

“About what?”

“That one day you’ll realize I’m not good enough for you,” he muttered, barely audibly. “No one loves me. I don’t get why you still do.”

Jared sighed and, taking his chin in his hand, forced Gabriel to meet his eyes. His blue eyes were amused and tender at the time. “I’m well aware of all the…less than charming aspects of your personality. I’ve seen you at your worst. I’ve seen you be selfish, mean, vindictive and overly possessive. And it doesn’t make me love you less.”

“Why?” he whispered.

“Because when you love someone, you don’t love them for their good personality traits and actions. You love them because you love them, with all their flaws and ridiculous insecurities.” Jared smiled, touching Gabriel’s lip. “I love you, baby. Probably more than I should.”

Gabriel smiled back and hid his smile in Jared’s neck, hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes, feeling the ever-present fear finally dissipate, washed away by a surge of emotion. Tristan was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t good, but he was good enough for the person who mattered the most. The key was finding that person.