Throttled (Dirty Air 1)

I clench my hands. The thought of her dating, kissing, or fucking another guy makes me sick. I don’t deserve her, but screw anyone else who tries.

“I wouldn’t like it one fucking bit.”

“And why is that?” He doesn’t flinch at my cursing, further evidence of why I like this man.

“Because I’ll be wishing it was me who could do those things with her.”

My admission sits with us like a third person. Minutes pass by as I devise a plan, the sound of the clock ticking to the rhythm of my bouncing leg.

“I think I have an idea for what I need to do. But I want to run it by you.”

My therapist smiles at me. He helps me build confidence, listening to my ideas while offering insight and opposing viewpoints. I’m fucking done sitting on the sidelines thinking about my mistakes, because I’m the type to be on the front of the grid with a pole-position start.

Time to get my trophy.

23

Maya

“Listen, the last date was bad, but this one will be better. I pinky promise. We can ditch together if it goes terrible.” Sophie holds my hand before linking our pinkies together, forcing a promise on me before I agree.

I groan. Another date sounds like a terrible idea. “The last one included a guy bringing out photos of his family and ex-wife. He even told me how they got married and divorced, tearing up as the waiter brought out our dessert. I’ll never look at tiramisu the same way again.”

“Okay, I get it. That wasn’t my best work. I’m still fixing the kinks in my magic wand dildo thing. But I picked two good ones this time.” Her green eyes fill with hope.

“That sounds so wrong. Who are the new guys?”

Since we both can suffer together, I give in to the plan. I don’t want to risk it with another disastrous date because a woman can only take so many photo albums.

“They’re two top engineers for McCoy. I met one of them at a press conference my dad was talking in. They’re sweet, I swear. Cross my heart.” She drags her index finger in an X motion.

I nod along, agreeing to the plan because of Sophie’s good intentions.

“Yay. You won’t regret it! They even got us reservations at the nicest restaurant in Milan. Because nothing says a good date like pasta!” She claps her hands and drags us to my hotel room to pick our outfits. For someone who loves sneakers and T-shirts, she sure enjoys getting dressed up.

Here we are on a date the night before a qualifier round, sitting across from two good-looking guys. Sophie shoots me a grin when they look at their menus.

I agreed to this date for her because she’s seemed to struggle with Liam ever since they went to Canada. Not that she opens up about it.

The man Sophie set me up with has a head of blonde hair that curls at the ends. He looks kind of cute in a sweet way, and he even has a hint of an accent I can’t place. Candlelight dances off his brown eyes as he stares into mine.

“What’s it like to be a vlogger for Bandini? At McCoy we always watch them, hoping you’ll drop trade secrets.” My date, Daniel, smiles wide.

I shake my head. “I’m careful to make sure that doesn’t happen. I think they would flag my videos and not allow me to film anymore.” I make a zipping motion with my fingers and throw the invisible key over my shoulder.

“Which videos have you seen?” Sophie jumps in, her blonde space buns bobbing.

“We watch a lot of them and they look pretty well done. Do you edit them yourself?” Her date, John, asks.

“I’ve learned how to edit better as I continue to make more videos. I’m sure I could upgrade my equipment once it takes off because nice cameras are worth thousands of dollars.”

“By taking off, she means more than a million followers. She’s close to 800,000 already.” Sophie beams like a proud mom.

“How much did you pay Noah to do those videos? Especially the question ones because he never does stuff like that. He even declined Sports Daily when they asked for a similar one.”

My eyes burn at the memory. Nothing like bringing up Noah to dampen my mood, except my date has no idea about Noah and me, let alone how the industry works.

“I paid him nothing since he volunteered, and I didn’t exactly strong-arm him into it. Plus, we don’t really pay for things like that in this kind of work. Famous people usually do it if they want to. If not, they say no.” I scrunch my nose at Daniel’s misunderstanding.