Throttled (Dirty Air 1)

The safety car drops my brother off in the garage ten minutes later. I give him a quick hug and some words of encouragement before he heads on up to his suite, claiming he needs a break and meditation. My heart hurts at how defeated he looks, his shoulders hunched over as he disappears.

Sophie nudges me. “That went better than expected, no thrown helmets or dramatic sweeping of tools off a rolling cart.”

“Does anyone else comment on your vivid imagination?”

“Duh, Liam—all the time. Says I should write stories and make money off my madness.” She nods like she has considered the idea.

Liam and Noah fight for the first-place spot. They each pull off risky moves, trying to get around each other. Anticipation and nerves mix around inside of me. A few times their tires lose traction, but they regain momentum, pulling back onto the track before they stall. Liam’s car spins out once as he expertly misses a barrier and gains enough force to keep driving. Another ten laps to go. Noah attempts to overtake Liam at the turn, but the road looks too wet.

My stomach rolls at the live coverage, a helpless witness to the noise of crunching metal and squealing tires, and the gasps from the pit. Sophie’s dad yells into his radio, but his words are hard to make out.

Liam’s front wing and tire clip the underside of Noah’s car. My blood pumps loudly in my ears, making it impossible to hear shit out of the radio. I’m silently sitting on the edge of my seat as time slows down, frame by frame, and the crash happens.

Noah’s car flips on its side and proceeds to barrel roll. Once. Twice. Three fucking times. It bounces again before it drags across the road, slamming into the barrier at an estimated one hundred and seventy miles per hour. Holy shit. The complete underside of his car is exposed, tires spinning and liquid leaking down the metal.

Tears flood my eyes at Noah’s lack of response to any radio calls. Wetness streams down my face. Sophie’s dad speaks into the radio, the only voice in the quiet garage.

Smoke billows from Noah’s car despite the drizzling rain. It rises, darkening the air above him. More silence from the radio. Orange flames lick at the red paint of the Bandini car, marring it, making it look all wrong.

Noah speaks into the radio.

“Fuck, there’s a fire. I’m upside down. Please get me the fuck out of here! Now!” My heart sinks at his heavy breathing, his voice betraying his fear.

Flames engulf the cockpit of the car. Bile builds up in the back of my throat, my body fighting with everything to keep it down.

Sophie’s dad speaks into his microphone. “They’re on their way. Keep calm, Noah! We’ll get you out of there. Take a few deep breaths. They’re bringing the fire extinguishers now.”

“Where the fuck is the safety team? The crane? My suit is on fire! There’s a shit-ton of smoke coming from the car, making it hard to breathe.” His labored breaths garble the radio.

Sophie’s dad takes control of the situation and asks if Noah has any injuries. My heart throbs at the panic laced in his voice.

I can’t do anything but watch. I am helpless, out of control. The safety team finally shows up with fire extinguishers, white foam pouring over Noah’s car, running down the red paint like a cloud. They control the flames in record time, but it still feels like forever. I tune out the commentators on the television. My legs move on their own accord, sitting myself down before my knees buckle.

The crew brings a crane to dislodge Noah’s car from the barrier.

I sob at his desperate pleas to be let out, upset about how long it takes. God, it feels like torture. Knowing he feels weak, knowing I can’t do anything but sit, watching the safety team do everything. Not being able to help the person I love is ten levels of fucked up.

I take a deep breath when the crane lifts his car. His body crawls out from under the hunk of metal with the help of crew members. An image I’ll never get out of my head. He throws his helmet across the grass, the headpiece bouncing around, body shaking as he takes in a lungful of fresh air.

Invisible needles pinch at my heart, watching him get upset on the grass. He lies there vulnerable, no longer his usual tough, competitive, and brave self. Tears run down my face, mimicking the ones on TV. No privacy during a time like this.

My sad tears turn into ones of relief as the safety team checks him out, giving the all-clear. It’s sheer luck to walk away from a crash like that unharmed.

Sophie hugs me, her arms squeezing me tight, the smell of coconuts and summer wrapping around me. My nose runs and my vision clouds as the safety team drives Noah away from the crash.

“He’ll be okay. The cars are built for these types of things, plus there’s all the new safety precautions.”

I give Sophie another hug, grateful for her friendship in a time like this. My body freezes at Noah’s voice. I push Sophie away and hurl myself into Noah’s arms.

His body tenses before his arms wrap around mine, not giving a shit who watches. He breathes in the scent of me, tears springing from my eyes again, hitting me with all types of emotions. I cry into his chest as he holds my shaking body close to him.

“I was terrified. I’m glad you’re okay,” I mumble into his chest.

“I’ll always be okay and come back to you. Those cars are built for a bomb. I love you.” He squeezes me as he whispers the words in my ear.

I take another deep breath, Noah’s terrible smell invading my lungs. Like a mix of burnt rubber, smoke, and sweat. I try not to gag as I hold on to him.

Once I calm down, I pull away from him and assess for any injuries. Besides his flushed cheeks, he appears okay. Thank God. His hazy eyes look down at me, shining under the fluorescent lighting.