Wrecked (Dirty Air 3)

“I’d ask you how you are, but I’m guessing based on the press videos, you’re barely hanging in there.”

I clutch onto my phone and press the speakerphone button, wanting to give my hands something to do. “I’m excited for the season to be over.”

“I can imagine. You’ve been through a lot in the last year.”

“Understatement of the century.”

“How has everything been since you pushed Elena away?”

“Shitty doesn’t begin to cover how I feel about it all.”

He sighs. “Well, you know that I’m not one to dance around an issue.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Hit me with it.”

“I’ve been patient, trying to wait this out and see how you handle the situation with Elena. But it’s gone on too long and I’m afraid what will happen if you continue down this path.”

“I’ve been keeping straight. No partying or drugs to feel better, no matter how much I wish it could dull the pain.”

“That’s not my concern, although I’m happy you’ve been staying clean and focused. I’m talking about a different kind of path.”

“Elena and I are on two separate ones.”

“It’s not too late to amend that. I want to talk to you and plead her case.”

I grunt. “That’s not how this works.”

“It does when you’re not giving her a fair chance at trying things with you, diagnosis and all.”

“You and she aren’t the same. She has a choice to walk away, you didn’t.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. We all have choices. I chose to stay with your mum even though I knew she would get sick and need help because I love both of you more than anything else in the world. No disease could keep me away.”

My lungs burn from the deep inhale of breath I take. “You were married. You had vows not to abandon her. I only sped up the inevitable with Elena.”

“Which is what?”

“That I’m going to get sick one day and I don’t want to bring her down with me.”

“Your mother doesn’t bring me down. That’s my point, and why I wanted to talk to you. She’s the best part of my days and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. Even when she is at her worst, I feel grateful she’s there to begin with. That’s why I stuck by her when she was diagnosed. It wasn’t about a vow. It’s about a feeling I have toward her that nothing can compare to.”

“And that’s why you’ll be devastated when she dies,” I rasp. “You’re bound to die along with her in every way that counts.”

I love my dad. The last thing I want to see is the light fade from his eyes little by little as Mum gets worse.

“I’m not going to die.” He lets out a long sigh. “I’ll be the same man who promised her I’d fight for her and you. No matter what happens to your mum, I’ll always have you. And you are the greatest gift she could have given me. Which is why I’m here to tell you to get your head out of your arse and chase Elena because we Kingstons don’t give up on the people we care about.”

My chest tightens. “I love you, Dad. I respect you for everything you’ve given me, including help when I needed it the most.”

“But…”

I let out a resigned sigh. “But I can’t follow your advice this time.”

His sigh sounds similar to mine. “At least give it a thought and consider what I said. And think about what life would be like if you allowed yourself to enjoy all the good moments with Elena before life gets hard. That’s a lot of good memories to counteract the tough ones.”

“For you, I’ll think about it.”

His deep chuckle echoes through the phone. “Don’t lie to me. Actually do it.”