S.E.C.R.E.T. Shared (Secret 2)

I thought for a second. “I don’t think so. But, you know, I might just fuck him anyway.”

And I left her alone in the washroom to pick her jaw up off the floor.

Why did I say that? Because I knew she’d tell Will. Hell, I wanted her to. And because sometimes you have to say things out loud to gather the gumption to go through with them.

The Coach House door was open. I tiptoed past the foyer into the reception area and found Danica on the phone. She covered the receiver with her hand.

“You’re early. Matilda’s at the Mansion, but she’ll be here in a minute. Go on in,” she whispered.

“Dauphine’s not here yet?”

“I’ll watch for her. A new girl! So exciting!”

The boardroom door was ajar so I slipped in and saw for the first time the mythical Fantasy Board, to which only the Committee was privy. It was usually kept hidden behind a sliding wall. But there it was in all its colorful glory. Some of the men’s names were struck out. Some I recognized. My heart sped up when I saw “Theo” on a purple card—my sexy French ski instructor—but there was a black slash through his name. There was also “Captain Archer,” the helicopter pilot who’d led me to ?

?Jake,” the tugboat captain. Next to that was a card with “Captain Nathan” and a question mark; I didn’t recognize that name. I inched the board back a little more and saw more strange names, then two that made my heart feel like a deep bruise with a finger pushing on it, including ”Pierre Castille,” covered by an X. My fantasy with the Bayou Billionaire had been extraordinary. The Ball, that sexy limousine ride home; he was incredibly hot and so assured. But his attentions turned toxic after the burlesque show, when he just assumed I’d pick him over Will for my final fantasy. I figured the X meant the Committee had dumped him from the fantasy roster, something I would have suggested had I been asked.

But the other familiar name was Jesse, my third Step fantasy, and his card had a number two scrolled on it. Jesse! My sexy-as-hell, tattooed pastry chef. Had it been almost a year since he overcame me in the kitchen at the Café Rose? Each of the men I’d had sex with was amazing in his own right, but I had made a special connection with Jesse, one strong enough to almost cause me to quit my fantasies early for a chance to get to know him better. Matilda convinced me to stay in S.E.C.R.E.T., to push through. And though I was grateful in the end when Will and I tumbled into bed, now I wasn’t so sure I’d taken the right risk with the right man.

“Cassie!”

I almost leapt out of my skin at the sound of Matilda’s voice.

“You scared me!”

She stood in the doorway, her arms crossed.

“Cassie, you know better than to come in here unsupervised. You aren’t supposed to see the board unless you’re a full Committee member.”

“I can handle it. I mean, I knew some of these guys were coming back. What’s the rule? Three turns through S.E.C.R.E.T.?” I asked, keeping my voice from breaking. Why was I suddenly so upset?

“Yes, that’s right.”

“And how many more fantasies does Jesse have left as a participant?”

“He’s performed two. So … one more,” Matilda said gently.

“Pierre’s name is scratched out, I see.”

“After the way he treated you at the burlesque revue? The Committee feels he is no longer S.E.C.R.E.T. material.”

“I agree, which is such a shame. He’s very … well, you know. Have you told him yet?”

“No.”

“I’d love to listen in on that phone call, when the Bayou Billionaire’s told his services won’t be required.”

“Powerful men aren’t used to being rejected. Pierre Castille will probably be no exception.”

“So … Jesse. Is he completely off limits while he’s on the Fantasy Board?”

Why did I ask that? I knew the answer! Oh god, I sounded like a lovelorn teenager.

“Yes, he’s off limits. Unless you’re participating in a threesome scenario or training him. We may tee him up with Dauphine if her fantasy folder indicates an interest in his type.”

“Right. I see,” I said, hardly camouflaging my disappointment.

“Cassie, if you want us to put you and Jesse together again, to see if there’s still a spark, that can be done. But the rule is you then have to find a similar replacement recruit. Are you ready to replace him? To recruit a new man?”