Burning for Love (Kindred Tales)

She looked up at him with wet eyes.

“Emotions aren’t…aren’t something you can cure,” she whispered, her voice breaking on the words.

“Then how can I turn your bad emotions into good ones?” James asked honestly. “How can I make you ‘feel better’ as the feelers say?”

Ka’rissa swiped at her eyes and looked up at him uncertainly.

“You can say that you don’t think I’m bad or wrong or dirty to start with,” she whispered. “You can say you don’t believe the awful things Lady Mildew said about me.”

“Of course I don’t,” James said at once, frowning. “I think she is irrationally angry at the loss of her position as your Companion and she wants to find a way to hurt you because of it. I have observed that feelers who have pain sometimes want to give pain to others,” he added. “It’s just another reason why emotions are illogical and not at all useful.”

“But emotions can be wonderful too—positive emotions, anyway,” she objected. “I was feeling very positive and happy when I was dancing with you at the ball tonight,” she added, giving him a shy glance through her long lashes. “I wouldn’t want to give up those feelings just to become more ‘logical.’”

James thought of the experience of dancing with her and had to admit she might be right. He’d felt a great deal of satisfaction knowing that he was holding her in his arms. Also, keeping time with the up-tempo music and whirling the petite Princess around the room as she laughed and smiled up at him had given him a warm glow in his chest that seemed to radiate to his entire body. Was that…happiness?

Surely not, he told himself. I was simply satisfied that I was doing my job correctly and protecting Ka’rissa’s physical and mental wellbeing.

But he couldn’t remember ever having that warm glow before or enjoying moving to music in the way he had tonight. Was this why the Collective had outlawed music on Zeaga Four? Because it really could cause emotions?

But was it the music causing that glow you felt…or the fact that you were holding the Princess in your arms and she was laughing and smiling at you? asked a little voice in his head.

James didn’t know, but he decided it would be foolish to try and analyze the situation now. At the moment, he was trying to comfort Ka’rissa and ease her pain. And from the look on her face, he thought he might be succeeding.

“Do you feel better now?” he asked, stroking a long strand of curly hair away from her eyes so he could see them better. “Have I fixed you?”

She gave a little laugh.

“No, you didn’t ‘fix’ me, but you certainly made me feel better.” She bit her lip. “Though…I do not know if it is proper for you to hold me in your arms in this way.”

“Why not?” James asked, mystified. “I held you in my arms as we danced tonight and no one thought that was improper.”

“Well, yes, but we’re in my bed and I’m not wearing much,” she pointed out. “If someone were to walk in on us right now they might think you were…” She bit her lip, her cheeks going rosy with a blush. “Might think you were trying to…to kiss me,” she whispered.

“I’m aware that a male shouldn’t press his lips to a female’s without her permission,” James told her. “Or without some kind of understanding between them—like a prior relationship. So please don’t worry—I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Ka’rissa said quickly. “I just…wouldn’t want anyone else to think that you would.”

James frowned.

“A person’s image—how they are perceived by others—is very important here on Regalia Five, isn’t it?”

Her eyes widened.

“It’s everything. Once your image—your reputation—is ruined, your life is over. The whole Court does nothing all day but gossip and spread rumors about each other. That is why a lady’s image must be beyond reproach.”

James shook his head.

“That seems like a very ‘unhappy’—to borrow a feeler term—way to live. But I actually think I understand it.”

“You do?” Ka’rissa asked.

He nodded.

“Back on my home world of Zeaga Four, we were all constantly being analyzed and monitored for any signs of ‘feel crime’—the crime of having emotions,” he explained. “The constant scrutiny could be…wearing at times. Even though I had no emotions, I couldn’t help wondering what might happen if someone higher up the chain of command—closer to the Collective—thought I was having them and acted accordingly.”

“And what happened to you if you were caught, uh, ‘feeling’?” Ka’rissa asked. Her eyes were wide as she watched him.

James shrugged.

“You were purged. It was a daily occurrence because sometimes a warrior’s emotion damper would fail and they would start feeling before they could stop themselves from it.”

As he spoke, he had an uneasy sensation centered in the pit of his stomach as he thought of the little silver button at the back of his neck. But surely his own emotion damper was functioning adequately—yes, he was sure it was. And even if it wasn’t, he was no longer on Zeaga Four and no one could purge him for it.