Sideways Arithmetic From Wayside School (Wayside School 2.50)

Mr. Pepperadder was Miss Mush’s assistant. He wasn’t as tall as she was, so she always played funny jokes on him. She’d ask him to get something for her, and when he told her he couldn’t reach it, she’d laugh her head off.

Mr. Pepperadder always smiled and laughed, too, because he was a good sport and because Miss Mush was his boss. They ate lunch together after everyone else finished eating. They ate whatever was left over. They usually had lots to eat.

“Mr. Pepperadder,” said Miss Mush. “Will you please get me the peanut butter.” She covered her mouth to keep from laughing because she knew that the peanut butter was kept in the cupboard above the broom closet.

The knob on that cabinet door was seven feet high.

Mr. Pepperadder’s toes were one and a half inches long, approximately. His feet were nine inches long. His legs were three feet long. His arms were two and a half feet long from his shoulders to his wrists. His palms were four inches long. His longest finger was three inches. If he stood on his tiptoes, could he reach the knob in order to open the cabinet door?

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PROBLEMS 39–42

Everybody always said that Miss Mush and Mr. Pepperadder were terrible cooks, but that wasn’t really true. The problem was that it was difficult for them to cook for a lot of people. When they only cooked for one or two people, their food, in fact, was absolutely delicious. But unfortunately there were 4,500 people at Wayside School, and the more meals Miss Mush and Mr. Pepperadder had to cook, the worse each meal tasted.

If they cooked 100 meals, the food would be excellent.

If they cooked 500 meals, the food would be good.

If they cooked 1,000 meals, the food would taste okay, but it would smell funny.

If they cooked 1,500 meals, it would taste as bad as it smelled.

If they cooked 2,000 meals, it would be awful.

If they cooked 3,000 meals, it would be rotten.

If they cooked 3,500 meals, it would be disgusting.

And if they cooked 4,500 meals, half the people who ate would have to go home sick.

They had another problem. The worse the food tasted, the less people would eat.

If the food was excellent, everyone would want to eat.

If the food was good, only 3,000 people would want to eat it.

If the food tasted okay, but smelled funny, only 2,000 people would want to eat it.

If the food tasted as bad as it smelled, 1,500 people would want to eat it.

If the food was rotten, then only 500 people would still want to eat it.

And only 250 people would still want to eat it if it was disgusting.

And only 100 people would still want to eat it when it was so horrible that half the people who eat it would have to go home sick.

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These two charts may help you solve the next four problems.

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The first chart shows how the food would turn out, depending on how many meals were cooked.

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