Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom (Wayside School 4)

“We’re not collecting a million dollars,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Any other ideas?”

“Pumpkins!” suggested Dana.

Everyone cheered Dana’s idea too, but not as loudly as Joy’s.

“I don’t think a million pumpkins would fit in the school,” said Mrs. Jewls. “We need something small, and not too expensive.”

Stephen suggested, “Little pieces of paper.”

Nobody cheered.

“Bo-ring,” sang Kathy.

Stephen felt hurt, but deep down, he had to admit that collecting bits of paper wouldn’t have been a whole lot of fun.

Ron suggested mud, but that too was rejected. “It’s a good idea, Ron,” said Mrs. Jewls, “but you can’t count mud.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“There’s no such thing as one mud, or two muds,” explained Mrs. Jewls.

“Why not?” Ron asked again.

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Jewls had to admit.

Terrence couldn’t take it any longer. He took off his shoe, then his sock.

One desk over, Rondi stared at him, horrified.

Terrence’s toenail was bent out of shape, and it had turned black and blue.

He opened his desk and took out his pair of safety scissors. Then, crossing one leg over the other, he started snipping.

“You can’t cut your toenail in class,” said Rondi. “It’s against the rules.”

“Who says?” said Terrence.

It was one tough toenail, and the scissors weren’t all that sharp.

“Mrs. Jewls!” called Rondi. “Terrence is cutting his toenail, right in class!”

Some kids laughed. Some said, “Gross!”

Terrence pushed hard on the scissors. At last, a piece of his toenail fell free. His toe instantly felt better.

“Terrence! Come up here now!” demanded Mrs. Jewls. “And bring your toenail with you!”

Terrence picked up the clipping off the floor. One shoe off, one shoe on, he hobbled to the front of the room.

“Give me that!” Mrs. Jewls demanded.

Terrence dropped the nail clipping into his teacher’s outstretched hand.

“You’re a genius, Terrence,” said Mrs. Jewls.

She held his nail clipping high in the air. “That’s one!” she announced. “Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine . . . to go!”

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