Dogs Don't Tell Jokes (Someday Angeline 2)

Gary didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Maybe you can take it back and they’ll give you a new one,” Ira said in a dumb-sounding voice that was supposed to be an imitation of Gary’s.

Gary remembered the “Bob Bremly” baseball card that one of the Higgins twins had showed him.

“So Michael says you’re going to start collecting baseball cards,” said Ira.

Gary shook his head. “No.”

“Oh,” said Ira. “You should.”

There it was again. Why in the world should he collect baseball cards? “I collect hats,” he said.

Ira looked at him, studying Gary like he might study one of his baseball cards. “Why do you always tell jokes?”

Gary shrugged. He didn’t bother to tell Ira that he’d actually stopped telling jokes. “To make people laugh.”

“Why?” asked Ira.

He shrugged again. “People like to laugh.”

Ira thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said, like it was true for other people though not necessarily for him.

Gary walked away talking to himself. “Why do I like to make people laugh? What kind of question is that? Everyone likes to laugh. It’s good to laugh. I should ask Ira why he collects baseball cards, that’s what I should do.”

“Goon, think fast!”

A football was coming at his face. He held up his math book just in time. The ball hit it and knocked it out of his hands.

Joe and Zack laughed.

Gary laughed too as he picked up the ball.

“Goin’ long!” said Zack. Then he took off.

It took a moment for Gary to realize what he was supposed to do, and by then Zack was too far. Gary threw it as hard as he could, but the ball landed way short as Zack ran back to try and catch it.

“You want to go play some football?” asked Joe.

“Me? Sure.”

Zack threw the ball back to him. Gary planted his feet and waited to catch it, but Joe jumped in front of him and intercepted.

Joe then immediately lateraled it behind his back to Gary, but Gary wasn’t ready and it bounced off his stomach.

He picked up the ball, then his math book, and ran after Joe and Zack.

“C’mon, you guys. Hustle your butts!” shouted Ryan Utt from the football field.

They had all heard about Gary’s trick play in gym class.

“That’s great, Goon,” said Paul. “I didn’t think you had it in you. I didn’t know you even knew how to catch.”

“Or even which way to run with the ball after you caught it,” said Matt.

Everyone laughed, even Gary.

“That’s his secret,” said Joe. “He’s just pretending to be a goon. You’re just sandbagging everyone, aren’t you?”