The Cheat Sheet

“Yup.” She rolls her eyes and pops the p sound. “How could I forget when it happens EVERY SINGLE TUESDAY. Literally your only morning off during the season.”

This feels like a private conversation I shouldn’t be here for. Actually, I kinda agree with her. It’s weird that Nathan and I are such good friends. I’ve tried to take myself out of the equation many times before so he could spend more time with his girlfriend, but he never allows it. If I were his girlfriend, though, I would be very territorial with free time.

Tuesdays in the NFL are off days for nearly every team. But here’s the secret sauce that not all players realize: The best ones still go into the training facility on their off days. They use the extra time to focus on their weaknesses, meet with physical therapists, review old game tapes—anything that will help them excel above the rest. Nathan never sits Tuesdays out, but he does go in a little later so we can have our run together in the morning.

“Can’t you take, like, this one morning off?” She is overexaggerating every single word, and I don’t know how he handles her voice.

Nathan’s brows dip, and he folds his arms. I want to slowly scoot out of the room because I know what’s going to happen next.

“Not really. I need a good run to shake off that bad game before I go train today.”

Kelsey’s mouth falls open. “Bad game? Babe, you won! What are you even talking about?”

In unison, Nathan and I both say, “Two interceptions.”

Yikes. Kelsey did not like that. Her eyes narrow down into scary little slits. “Cute. See what I mean? This is not a normal friendship. And you know what? I’m done competing with whatever this is. It’s time you”—Don’t say it, Kelsey!—“choose. It’s either me or her.”

She blinks several times, and I turn around to give Kelsey some privacy in this moment of loss. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the insignificant, minuscule relationship that was Nathan and Kelsey.

“Kelsey…I told you up front I wasn’t looking for anything serious right now, and you said you were good with that…” Nathan pauses.

Gosh, I hate this for him, I really do. It kills him to deliver breakup lines, because he’s a giant, rock-solid teddy bear. I wish I could do it for him, but I have a feeling I’d just get a cast iron skillet to the face.

Kelsey squeals. “Are you kidding me right now?! Are you choosing her over me?”

Okay, I don’t love her inflection.

“Yes,” he says matter-of-factly.

Flames burst from the top of her head. “You cannot honestly tell me you’re not sleeping with her then!”

“He’s not, believe me,” I say. Then I worry it came out sounding a little too bitter, so I add, “Really. Just friends. We’d be horrible together. We’re more like brother and sister.” Bleh, that tasted bad on my tongue.

His chin tilts down to me, and it takes him a second, but he smiles. “Yeah. We’ve never…” His voice trails off and I see him swallow because it’s difficult for him to even picture us together in that way. “Been friends with benefits.”

Never. Not once. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. A peck on the cheek is the closest I’ve gotten to any action with Nathan, which is why I know he’s not into me. A man who is head over heels for a woman doesn’t keep his hands to himself on movie night for six years straight. And Nathan and I always keep our hands to ourselves.

So now, I work as hard as I can to prove to him that I’m SO GOOD with this friend thing. Because, honestly, I am. Would I love to marry him and have his giant muscular babies? Yes. In a heartbeat. But it’s not in the cards for us, and I’ll be damned if I ruin our friendship by making things weird when he finds out I’m crushing on him while he already has the number of the next model he plans to date halfway dialed into his phone.

The bigger problem is that I know if I told him how I really feel, he’d humor me because he truly does care about me as a friend. He’d give it the old college try, might date me for a few weeks, but then he’d move on to someone he actually felt chemistry with, and I’d be out a best friend. Not worth it.

Yeah—I’m good like this.

I’ll eventually find someone who is just as great as Nathan.

(Probably not.)

“Right. Well, then…enjoy your weird friendship. Because I’m leaving.” Kelsey pauses a minute, but I don’t hear footsteps. I think she’s waiting for him to stop her. This is awkward for everyone. “I really am. Right now. I’m walking out that door for good, Nathan.”

Noooo, don’t go! I think with zero sincerity.

And then she storms off. Nathan follows her toward the door, saying something about how she’s still in her pajamas and shouldn’t she go get her stuff first? She tells him to have it sent over because she can’t bear to look at him for another second. The drama is high.

I hear the door slam, and I kick the air. Good riddance!

I also whip out my phone and text my big sister.

Me: Another one bites the dust. Kelsey’s outta here!