The Cheat Sheet

Nathan swoops in beside me, crouching down and chuckling while patting my back. “You okay? Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

I give my throat one last epic clearing then force myself to meet Nathan’s eyes. His hair is now tousled and shining to perfection, and he’s wearing black dress pants and a white button-down tucked in. The top few buttons are undone, and I’m going to choke again.

“Yep! Good to go. Dylan is taking good care of me.”

Nathan’s dark eyes glint. “Not too good, I hope. That’s my job—and according to what I just heard, I’m doing it really well.”

Dylan makes a strangled squealing sound then turns away

to give us some privacy while he goes to dig around in his travel kit again.

I take the opportunity to point a stern finger at Nathan. “Don’t ever bring this up again! I panicked, okay? He was digging for gossip and I didn’t want him to find out the truth. Would you rather me say you’re a lousy lover like Kelsey did and WHAT is that face about?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. You’re just awfully defensive.”

I feel my cheeks heating and refuse to let them grow rosy. I REFUSE. “Why are you in here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be in there with Aubrey getting made up or enjoying a lap dance or something?”

He tips a brow. “Now we’re jealous?”

I groan. “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Well, good. Because the lap dance really wasn’t anything to write home about anyway.”

I punch him in the shoulder just as Dylan comes to stand behind me again to finish his work. He has the face of a man who is trying to look like he’s not eavesdropping but is very clearly memorizing every word we say so he can repeat it later. Oddly, I don’t mind. I kind of hope he does.

“Kidding.” Nathan glances up at Dylan and then back to me. His eyes aren’t joking anymore. They are just Nathan looking back at me. His eyes shift to one of the curls hanging beside my face, and he tugs it gently. “Tim whisked you off so quickly, and I was just coming to make sure everything is good with you. Do you need anything?”

I swallow, realizing how different this feels than I predicted. His eyes aren’t distant like I’ve seen him look with previous girlfriends when they’re in public. He’s not too busy to check on me. He’s twirling my curl between his finger and thumb. Don’t freak out—it’s probably all for show.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m a little disoriented, but I’ll get used to it.” I regret those words as soon as I say them. I won’t get used to it, because I won’t let myself. No getting comfortable in this life. No enjoying it.

Nathan smiles wider, and he leans in slowly to brush a kiss on my cheek.

Once he goes back to his dressing room, Dylan shakes his head at me in the mirror. “Where’s that manager of yours? I need a bucket of ice to dip my face in.”

I laugh softly and turn my attention back to my tacos, trying to ignore the tugging sensation in my heart.

Later that night, after we pull up in front of my apartment and I sprint out of the SUV, leaving Nathan in my dust by telling him I’m not feeling good, I immediately call the one person I know will help me sort out my ricocheting feelings, the one person I never hide anything from.

“Hello?”

“Lily, something’s wrong!” I say, shutting my front door and leaning my back against it.

“What! What’s wrong?!”

“I had a fantastic day.”

She growls. “I’m going to kill you when I see you next. You gave me a heart attack.”

“I’M THE ONE HAVING A HEART ATTACK!” I say, pressing my hand firmly over my chest like she can see my dramatic performance.

In the words of Mrs. Bennet, she has no sympathy for my poor nerves!

“Okay, hang on. I need to get some ice cream and then you can tell me what happened. DOUG, I’M GOING OUT ON THE PORCH TO TALK TO B.”

Once Lily is settled, I tell her all about filming the commercial. I explain how I was supposed to hate it, feel like a fish out of water, and be counting down the minutes until I could get home and put on my PJs. But none of that happened. I loved every second of it. Once I got used to it, I loved how hectic it was. I loved how all the important people there made me feel like I actually belonged. I thought Nathan’s world was supposed to be like Mean Girls and I wouldn’t be allowed to sit at the cool table because I wasn’t one of them, but everyone was incredibly nice and helpful, and the crew was hilarious. Everyone was joking and playing around in between takes, and it felt so natural to me.

But being next to Nathan through all of it…that was something I can barely explain with words. I’ve seen him in his element countless times, but it’s always from the sidelines wayyyyy far away from where he is. Today, I was with him in the center of it all, and we were focused on each other.