Chasing Serenity (River Rain 1)

She tipped her head back and shared, “I didn’t get into it. And she didn’t either.”

He was confused. “Wait, what? I thought you just said—”

“Her being lost. Wandering between Phoenix and here. Doing nothing. When she was complaining about me to Mom and Bowie, she said I was bossy and acted like I knew everything.”

Judge felt his jaw tighten.

Chloe kept going.

“So I didn’t go all big sister on her and point out why I thought she did what she did. Or why I thought Matt was doing what he was doing. Or simply why they might both wish to reflect on their behaviors and figure it out for themselves. Instead, I just listened to and accepted her apology. And then she wanted to talk about you and if you showing and rescuing me means we’ve finally started seeing each other. And she was all fake cheery about the fact we are. Acting like she didn’t pick a fight when I repeatedly tried to get her to lay off. And then she took it to a point that crossed a line that meant she should reflect on this for a spell before we sat down and put this behind us. Frankly, if I wasn’t me, and I’m not saying I’m everything, but I think I’m being really nice to talk this soon about moving beyond this. She purposefully hurt me. And all her sunny, happy, Sasha crap was all such fucking bullshit, Judge, I wanted to scream.”

“So you don’t want to keep distant from her because you’re pissed, you want to do it because you’re frustrated,” he boiled it down.

“I want my sister back.”

She returned her gaze to her purse.

And the thing, right then, Judge decided he disliked most of all on this planet was seeing Chloe Pierce’s head bowed to anything.

He reached to the bag, slid it out of her hold, put it on his desk, then took both her hands in his and pulled her to her feet.

He then pushed to sitting fully on his desk, spread his legs and positioned her between his thighs. He dropped her hands and liked it when she lifted them to rest on his chest.

He put his to her hips.

With her standing steady on her feet, which he felt was much more natural for Chloe, he said carefully, “You should always feel free to be yourself.”

“I’m not sure, since she noted she and Matt always hated how I always knew everything and told them what to do.”

“I have a stepsister, didn’t grow up with her, so I don’t know this kind of stuff. But isn’t that the way all big sisters, or big brothers, are? I mean, you are who you are, it’s not like you held her or Matt at gunpoint and forced them to do your bidding.” He squeezed her hips. “She was transferring, honey. This isn’t about you. She was just trying to get her licks in.”

“Well, she succeeded.”

He already knew that.

He just didn’t know how bad it was.

“This is not an I told you so,” he began. “But I do encourage you to take a second and think about where this went. Because from my viewpoint, you sat down with her way too soon. It wasn’t just that last shit she said that bit deep. She got under your skin. You needed to get your feet firmer under you before you sat down with her.”

When she didn’t say anything, though she looked like she was taking in what he’d said, he continued.

“And while you’re thinking of that, think about the fact you put Sasha’s needs before your own. That kind of selflessness is a beautiful thing, but it can also be damaging. I think you already knew it was too soon for you, but you were looking after her. I’m angry at her for what she did to you, but that isn’t leading me to say this to you. It’s the fact you ignore your vulnerabilities in order to allay those of people you love. Yes, I think Sasha might have needed more time to think about her own actions and the consequences of those. But I reckon she already knew you’d eventually forgive her, so if she had to wait another day or a couple of weeks, it wouldn’t be so bad. Mostly, I think it’d be good for you to learn you don’t have to give up bits of yourself for others. You can keep yourself steady, and still take care of the people you love.”

“I hate you’re right,” she stated, staring him direct in the eye. “But you’re right.”

There it was.

She was smart enough to know she couldn’t know everything. She wouldn’t always make the right calls. There were always things to learn.

But the fact she copped to it right away, looking him in the eye?

Predictable.

And surprising.