Yours Completely (Reign 2)

“Stress will do that.”

Yeah, stress. Or maybe it was the pit of despair in my gut that wouldn’t go away and just turned into different shades of anger.

I didn’t tell Harper about Brock. No need, since I had handled it. Whatever she saw on my face made her brows furrow, though, and she sat forward on the couch and looked at me. “Why don’t you come with me to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving?”

I shook my head. It wasn’t the first mention of this, but with Harper leaving the state in a few days, I appreciated her attempt to help.

“I can’t,” I told her. “But thank you so much for offering.”

I had my thesis to focus on, and Harper was set to stay for a few weeks. Plus, I didn’t do well in family situations, typically, since I didn’t really have a standard one growing up.

“Well, what are you going to do?”

“About what?” I asked.

“About Cal.”

Great, we were back on this. “There’s not much to do.”

“Oh, I disagree. There’s plenty to do.” She winked.

“Seriously?”

“What?” she shrugged. “The guy is a pain in the ass, but he’s hot, and he likes you. He’s been nice to you, despite his best friend being a dick.”

“Jack’s not a dick.”

Harper raised a brow. I didn’t like saying his name. Didn’t like talking about him. Because I couldn’t say anything negative out loud. Yes, Jack had a plan from the start, but he had also believed me when I’d told him that Brock had raped me when I was young. Despite my misguided attempt to fix things, Jack had still left believing me. Which was something. I loved him. Had loved him. Maybe a part of me always would. But it didn’t change anything.

“It’s time to move on,” Harper said, like she had been saying for weeks. I thought of Cal’s advice.

“What if I just move instead?”

“What the hell does that mean?” Harper asked.

“I don’t know. Take baby steps.”

“Honey, you need to take leaps and bounds away from Jack, his memory, and your family.” Harper was so good at telling me what my problem was and what I should do, though she wasn’t exactly wrong. It came from a good place. I just processed differently than she did.

“Look, I think that this moment in your life is a big one. You can either let the past crush you, or rise above it.”

I thought about what I’d just done with Cal. How his body felt against mine. His hands on me, in me. I shuddered at the thought, and what surprised me was that I wanted more. More of his touch. More of the kind of dominance he brought to the table. Yes, there were similarities between him and Jack, but wild differences too. Cal told me what he wanted, then let me respond how I chose. It was my choice, my control, my say.

There was something heady about that.

I wanted more.

I wanted to feel that kind of lost empowerment again. Wanted to touch all his strength and make it my own by exercising my will, my wants, over him. It hit me just then:

He let me be angry.

He knew he was cleaning up Jack’s mess, and still took the job anyway and let me do what I needed to do. And just held me tight.

Shit. I was in trouble. Because any kind of attachment to another man, especially Cal, was not something my emotional system could handle. My body was screaming for more, maybe even my mind, but my heart? Bad. Bad, bad idea.

My phone beeped with a text. I reached behind me to the small table and grabbed it.

Cal: My Aunt is free Thursday if you’d like to meet around lunchtime. I can take you.