Desperate to Touch

“You’re lying,” he says and his voice is firm.

“I’m not; I haven’t lied. I can give you information on Marcus.”

“Yes you have,” he bites out quickly and for the first time since I’ve been in here, I see a flash of sadness in his dark cobalt gaze. I can’t respond to him. Not even when he turns away from me, leaning back and tapping his index finger on the desk again. He’s so broken. I didn’t do this to him. It’s not because of me. With the notebook of photocopied pages between my fingers, I lie to myself again: I didn’t do this to him.

“There’s a patient at the Rockford Center. She’s been in and out of there for years although she’s not a resident currently,” I explain as I hand over the notebook. It’s a hardcover, black and nondescript, of her first collection of memories. Holding out the bound pages, I can’t look in Seth’s gaze. I can’t and I won’t, but he doesn’t take it. He doesn’t accept it and with every long second that passes, it only hurts more. “She’s been with Marcus. She knows about him.”

“Many people work for—”

“Been with,” I interrupt him to emphasize, “she was his lover.”

His fingers graze mine as he takes it. A hot and longing need for him is threatening to consume me. With my eyes closed, I try to ignore what the rough feel of his touch does to me. It’s like a sparkler, hot and brightly lit, yet quickly extinguished. A part of me yearns to move forward, to light my entire body. I’ve always been weak for him. My soul in love with his, needing his. I keep my eyes closed even when I hear him turn the pages.

I left this man years ago but in this moment, it feels like I’m leaving him again. Simply because I refuse to give in. It feels like I’m running although I’m merely standing still in front of him.

“She wrote detailed descriptions of every location he took her.”

“We have intel on his habits and the locations of his businesses.” Seth speaks calmly, as if the information gathered in front of him is nothing new. With my eyes widening, I finally look at him, and then my body jumps when he tosses the heavy notebook down on his desk. The slap ricochets through my body.

“Like I said,” he says and my gaze falls to his throat, watching the cords tense as he swallows and adds, “you’ll do everything I say.”

“There are more,” I tell him quickly, ignoring his statement and even I can hear how begging my tone is.

I’ve fallen for this man once. If I do it again, I’ll cross the point of no return. I’m sure of it.

His gaze is hungry as he exhales with disdain. “Give me all of them,” he commands.

“I don’t have them with me.”

“You’ll bring them next time then,” he says. He’s bossing me around and telling me what to do.

“I’ll do what I please,” I bite out, remembering who I am.

Seth smirks at my response, appearing not at all flustered.

“It will please you,” he tells me and his tone is different. His cadence caresses every inch of my skin. Leaning forward, he rests his hand on my knee, and damn does my body respond to him. “I will make sure of that.”

“Seth,” I breathe his name.

“There are other things that need to be done first. I plan on taking my time.”

Seth

Hearing her whisper my name like that…

I want her more than I will ever admit. Just like I’ll never admit how dire the situation is with Marcus. I don’t have this information, but she’ll give it to me.

I burn for her to give me many things before that happens.

Her pain as I punish her. And her pleas for me to take her back.

One thing I’d planned to do since I moved back, one thing that has never deviated is sitting right behind her in the top drawer on the other side of the desk.

She watches me all the while and I wonder what she sees. What she thinks. What she feels. The drawer slides out with a creak and it’s the only sound in the office.

For a split second, I wonder if I should do it. If I should give it back to her. Laura needs to feel it though. She needs to know.

With the folded paper in my hand, I take a moment to clear off the left side of my desk, slipping a pile of folders inside the drawer. Now all that’s left is my laptop and a few odds and ends. The steel pen container is moved first. I set it on the windowsill behind me; clearing off what remains on the desk will take less than a minute. I want her ass right here, on this desk, once she’s done reading what I’m holding.