Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

“Fuck no. No. You just…you seem stressed or something. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t with me.”

With everything going on, Hayden questioning what happened between us hit me like a slam in the gut. Couldn’t he tell that I enjoyed it? Did he not believe my words? I’d asked him to do it—begged him, almost. With anyone else I would’ve been embarrassed, but maybe we weren’t on the same page like I’d thought.

Or maybe he was here because of Noah. Had I been seen? Did he know?

My mind whirled with confusion.

“It was great,” I told him, sucking up my emotions.

His face relaxed with relief. “Okay good. The guys were hoping to get together sometime this week. It’s a crunch but let’s figure it out, okay?”

I smiled. “That sounds like a really good idea.”

His eyes searched mine and he reached for my hand. I pulled back, ignoring the confusion and hurt that followed.

“I should go, Hayden. I have a ton of homework.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Okay. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, his jaw working overtime, but I used his hesitation to slip back into the room, shutting the door behind me.

I took a deep breath and leaned against the door, waiting for Samantha to say something. She didn’t. I stared at my room, where Amber’s voice could be heard through the door followed by Ginger’s laughter. I waited, feeling my heart pounding in my chest, the dark wave of anxiety taking over. When it didn’t subside, I took a shaky breath and succumbed to the pressure building inside and walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

24

Since Noah was on the organizing committee he told me to meet him at the house for dinner instead of picking me up. Like the past few days, he instructed me on what to wear: casual dress, nice shoes.

He eyed me the moment I walked in, a small grin lingering over his cracked lips. I felt the heat of his gaze—he didn’t want me. Not like the Allendale boys, no, there was something else, the glint of knowing he had me under his thumb. I’d seen it before in Spencer’s eyes. I’d also seen it in my father’s, too.

“Heaven,” he said, calling out my name. I tugged at the sleeves of my dress. It looked like a T-shirt, giving my body a boxy shape. I liked it because the sleeves were long. Noah looked down at my shoes and a small frown tugged at his mouth. I had on black booties. It was the best I could do.

“Hi, Noah,” I said, accepting his kiss on my cheek. At least here he won’t try to push himself on me, which was a fear that grew by the minute. I’d known guys like Noah before. He wouldn’t be happy until he owned me.

Two weeks. That was all I needed.

A full spread of food was on the table. Apparently, the church group met every week to share a meal. The idea was nice, but even in my dowdy dress I knew this wasn’t my kind of group. Everyone seemed nice enough; clean-cut. Sweet. Not the type to fool an entire student body or cause a social media sex scandal. Not the kind to lie just to help their dad. I stared at Noah, who looked the picture of a perfect Christian. Then again, maybe they were my kind of group.

“I’d lik

e to take a moment introduce you all to my girlfriend, Heaven,” Noah said loudly over the group. “I was blessed when she entered my life a few weeks ago—love at first sight.”

I smiled, forcing my lips to curve upward. “So blessed.”

Then he stood in front of the group and said a blessing, thanking God for all our bounty, the whole time feeling more and more separated from the event. Everyone in the room closed their eyes but I watched them, wondering if they knew the truth about this man and his family, or for that matter, mine.

“Noah, help me bring in the extra chairs,” someone said and he vanished from the room. The girl next to me, with hair identical to mine (long-haired-girl curls) pointed me to the start of the buffet.

“I’m Julie,” she said. “How did you meet Noah?” Her question sounded genuine—curious.

“Our fathers are friends. Through some church connections.”

She shook her head. “Ah, so you passed the Daddy test.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

She gave me a startled look, her blue eyes apologetic. “Look, I’m not trying to start anything, but Noah’s always been a little elusive. Lots of girls have tried to date him. He’s never been one for a serious relationship and we all figured it’s because he was looking for a specific kind of girl. The kind approved of by his father. You’re the first one he’s brought around.”