Holding On To Heaven (Allendale Four 2)

Noah called out as we walked toward the front door, “Don’t think I won’t press charges. My father will sue!”

It took enormous strength but Anderson walked out the door. I stopped and looked at Noah, restraining myself. We locked eyes and I said, “Don’t think that I won’t let him come back and finish the job. You better hope that Heaven’s okay when we find her.”

28

Heaven

The rain started while I was inside—while my world imploded. I jogged down to the student lot. My phone vibrated steadily in my hand and I shut it off, stashing it in my pocket until I reached Amber’s car. I felt like a thief, but I slipped behind the wheel anyway and embraced the quiet.

“What have you done, Heaven Reeves,” I muttered to myself. What had I done? So many lies upon lies. Why did I think I could live this life—have it all?

Part of me knew this was fixable…a small part, but the dark dread that lived in my chest—in my mind—all the time beat away at the logic, twisting it in my brain until it no longer mattered. I was doomed. Fated. Anything I touched turned bad and the look on Oliver’s face earlier confirmed this. I couldn’t put him through this again. I couldn’t put any of them through it.

Especially myself.

I wiped off my face and suddenly knew where I should go. Where I had to go.

Home.

Pulling into the heavy rain, I drove and formulated a plan. A plan always helped and I’d been without one for too long, allowing my father and Noah to dictate my life. Letting fear take over. Things were out of control and I needed to take it back.

The roads were dark and slick—forcing me to drive slower than I liked. Finally, my lights flashed on the sign for Allendale and I pulled off, stopping in a closed gas station parking lot. My phone lit up with messages but I ignored them, hitting my mother’s number instead. She’d talk me through this. We’d work it out.

It was late and I worried she’d not answer, but my heart leapt when I heard the click.

“Mom?” I blurted.

“Hello? Heaven?”

My heart sank.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“It’s late sweetheart, is something wrong?”

I stared out the window, watching the rain fall. “I screwed up your plan, Daddy. With Noah.”

“What?” he asked, obviously confused. “I don’t understand.”

“Noah’s a creep.” My fingers clenched the steering wheel. “I couldn’t do what he wanted. What you needed from me. I just couldn’t.”

He sighed. “Heaven, I have long prayed for your soul. Ever since I found out about the sinful ways you lead your life while I was gone. Leaving you like that—without a father to guide you—your path went astray.”

His words hit me hard. “No, Daddy, that’s not what happened. It wasn’t like that.”

“No? Are you telling me you didn’t sin with those boys? That you didn’t display your sexuality with inappropriate clothing? That you weren’t fornicating outside of marriage? That you’re not supportive of homosexuals and sinners?” he asked, listing my sins. “Did you really think you could keep it away from me?”

“I…I…” I chewed on my fingernail, tugging at the skin around it until it tore and bled. I wanted to deny his accusations, but they were all true. All of it. Except I knew in my heart it wasn’t so simple. “It’s not as bad as it seems. So much of it was lies. I was being stalked. Bullied.”

“I saw what you were wearing. What you did. You asked for it.”

“No. I didn’t.” Didn’t you? my brain whispered. “Things got out of control and it was happening again with Noah.”

“Baby girl, why do you think I sent you to Noah? He’s a sinner just like you. I figured you’d be fine with doing what you needed to make the arrangement between his father and I work.”

I blinked. “You what?”

“You had one job, Heaven, and that was to please Noah Hancock. Obviously, you’ve failed at that, just like you’ve failed at everything else in your life.”