Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set)

I’d had a good day at school. Most days were pretty good, but today, I felt I’d made a breakthrough with a student overwhelmed by decimals in math. Then, the class and I had a lively discussion as we created our own classroom Bill of Rights during our history lesson.

That on top of having a very satisfying personal life with Holly, I was living well. It was amazing to wake up in her bed, her luscious body by my side every morning. Even the everyday acts of grooming or having breakfast, held a whole new appeal. It was goofy I know, but I was very much enjoying domestic life. I kept the house running by fixing the things that needed upkeep and making dinner. And at night, to go to bed with her, even if we didn’t have sex, it was still fulfilling just to be beside her.

I should have known that the bubble would eventually pop. From the very beginning, my experience with Holly was one step forward two steps back. I supposed when she invited me into her bedroom, I thought she’d given in to what was between us, but today, it appeared that something was up when she was distant and then snapped at me when I asked about it in the car. I could feel her retreating from me again.

Did school go badly? Had Meredith done something? I didn’t know, and apparently, Holly didn’t want to confide in me. The fact that her keeping something that was clearly an issue for her from me hurt. It told me I was emotionally involved, which I’d known, but it was a reminder of how fucked up this would be if it didn’t work out.

When we arrived home from school, she made a b-line to her room, shutting the door. I considered hunting her down and demanding to know what was going on. At the very least, I wanted to know why I was being shut out. But I was afraid she’d say something about this all being fake and I had no real right to know, and I couldn’t bear to hear that.

So I left my school bag in the living room, and went to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer and then pulled out the fixings for dinner. I was lying to Meredith when I said that I’d wanted to be a chef at one time, but it was the truth that cooking relaxed me. The tactile elements of the food along with the creative aspect of cooking settled my nerves. Initially, I’d turned to cooking so I could eat while my parents fought through dinnertime. Once my father left, I cooked to help around the house as my mom worked long hours to build up her therapy practice.

I think that’s partly why Brooke and I became such good friends in college. Like me, she lost a parent as a kid, although her mother died whereas my father left. But like me, she had to take on more responsibility in the house. In her case, she ended up taking over her mother’s household jobs so her father could focus on running his cattle ranch. How she did that and went to school, I don’t know. Me, I took on more household responsibilities as well, but not as much as she had.

I put the dinner of chicken and rice in the oven, and set the table, glancing up the hall to see if Holly had made an appearance yet. The bedroom door was still closed. I didn’t like her going inside herself like that, and I wasn’t sure if I shouldn’t be more worried than annoyed. Of course, since she wouldn’t talk to me, I couldn’t know what to think or feel.

When dinner was finished cooking, I put it on the table and then went to let her know it was ready.

“Holly?” I knocked on the door. “Dinner is ready.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

I considered barging in and demanding to know what was up, but knew that it was my selfish need to be reassured she wasn’t upset at me or thinking of booting me out, so I let her be.

I waited for her at the table, wondering if she was going to make an appearance. When she did, she was quiet and sullen as she sat and put her napkin in her lap. We started eating in silence, until I couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Holly, I’ve given you time and space, but I can’t go on like this. What is going on with you? If it’s none of my business, you can tell me, but maybe I can help.”

She looked down at her food, but I don’t think she really saw it. “I’m sorry…I know I’m behaving badly. But…there’s nothing you can do.”

Fuck that. “I can listen.” My voice wasn’t as gentle as I’d have liked.

She inhaled a deep breath. “Rick showed up in my classroom today.”

“Rick as in your ex?” What the fuck was he doing back? My gut immediately roiled, making eating dinner impossible.

“He said he missed me and that he’d made a mistake in leaving.”

Oh hell no. Holly was mine. No way was that numbnut going to waltz back in and take her from me. Not if I had anything to say about it. Except…maybe that’s what she wanted. Maybe he was the love of her life.

“What did you say?” I asked even though I was afraid of her answer.

“I told him I couldn’t discuss it then. I was at work. It wasn’t the right place to talk about such personal things.”

I’d felt pain and disappointment in my life, but in that moment, it was like a fucking anvil dropped on my chest. She could have told him to take a flying leap. She could have said she’d moved on with a new man. But she hadn’t said either of those things.

My jaw clenched as I kept the words, “you could have told him you had me,” from escaping. As much as I’d have loved for her to say that, I couldn’t be sure that she saw things like I did. Rick being back could have changed everything for her. Clearly it had, because she was having an emotional reaction to his return.

Jealousy boiled and I wanted to throw something. Instead, I finished my dinner.

“I’ll clean up,” she said. I nearly made a snarky comment about her moving in on my chores as a way to ease me out to make room for Rick, but I was sure that would cause her to toss me out on my ass. The truth was, I was more emotionally involved with her than she was with me. I’d always known it, but thought I could make her care for me. With Rick back, that seemed impossible. Maybe it was time to cut my losses. I wasn’t sure how I could leave and not mess things up with the library project, but I wasn’t interested in being second especially to a douchebag asshole who didn’t know what he had when he left. Then again, why I was so enthralled with a woman that would prefer the said douchebag over me, who treated her with respect, I couldn’t say.

I texted Brooke to see if she could meet me. I needed someone I could talk to, and one of the downsides of Salvation was that she was the only one here I could confide in. She messaged back that we could meet at a park along the river for a walk.

“I told Brooke I’d see her this evening. It’s been awhile since we checked in.” Then trying to be light, I said, “I keep expecting her to tell me the pitter patter of little mayor’s feet will be coming soon.”

Holly smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I hope that’s true for them soon. I know Mo always wanted a family.”

“I’ll be back later.”