Unspoken Vow (Steele Brothers 2)

I’m still in control, I chant in my head as I get closer to release.

Brody’s hips push forward while his free hand pulls me closer.

Our cocks meet between us, and Brody uses his hands to jerk us together.

“You should come,” Brody says.

I laugh, but it comes out breathy. “You should.”

“Trust me. I’m struggling to hold out here. You feel amazing against me.”

Leaning closer, I bite down gently on his neck to prevent myself from saying stupid shit that’s stupid. Like, he’s the only guy in forever who’s turned me on this much. His are the only pair of hands I’ve truly enjoyed on me. His words are the only comfort I’ve felt, and his presence is still the only thing that makes me antsy and needy at the same time.

Brody’s breathing quickens, his body tenses, but I beat him to the punch.

“Fuck, Brody.” I come on a loud grunt and lose myself in the orgasm.

My muscles ache, but I keep convulsing, coming all over our shirts which we didn’t even think to remove.

Only when I catch my breath and lean back do I realise I don’t know if Brody finished. At the end there, I was too distracted by my own orgasm slamming into me to notice if he came, but if the amount of cum between us and the satisfied look on his face is anything to go by, I’d say he enjoyed it as much as I did.

So, of course, that’s when the panic sets in.

When my brain isn’t clouded by lust, it reminds me that he could’ve done anything to me while I was distracted, and I would’ve been taken off guard.

For the second time in my life, I could’ve been the guy who froze.

There have been studies about the natural fight-or-flight reaction. Humans and animals will only fight if they have to—most choosing to flee where they can. Unless they’re like bears or some shit. And not the fun gay type of bear.

In the most pivotal moment in my life, I chose neither and fucking froze. By the time I’d snapped out of it, I was already pinned to the floor with a blade at my neck, staring into the dead eyes of someone who told me they loved me.

The memory tries to take over. Even when I clutch at my throat and my fingers sink into my thick beard, all I feel is the knife piercing my neck. I shut my eyes and try to shake the sensation away, but it doesn’t work.

No, this can’t happen. Not now. Not right now. Not after that.

“Hey,” Brody says, his tone soothing. But it’s not soothing enough. “What happened just now?”

I keep my eyes closed and start counting to ten silently, though I feel my lips move.

“Anders, it’s okay. It’s me.”

I shake my head, because before Brody sounded nothing like Kyle, but now all I can hear is the gruff, deep voice of my ex-boyfriend.

God, I’m a mess.

I’m on top of my roommate, our cocks still out, cum everywhere, and I can’t fucking breathe.

On wobbly legs, I pull away and stand. “I have to shower.”

“Uh, I think we both do.”

“Right. I’ll … uh, go first.”

I need to get away from him so I can get some oxygen.

12

Brody

I’ve fucked up.

Reed’s going to kill me.

Anders is off limits.

Apparently, my dick heard “Maul him.”

It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t in the shower right now, clearly panicking.

Everything was fine—it was slow and a little awkward watching Anders try to relax, and the blowjob was great until I pushed and fucked it all up, but when Anders let go? It was fucking perfect. Right up until he ran away.

I can’t pretend to understand what he’s going through, which is exactly why I shouldn’t have crossed the line with him.

When the shower shuts off, I snap out of the doubt and try to put on a confident face. I need to act like his reaction isn’t affecting me, because he doesn’t need the added pressure of that on top of what he’s dealing with.

I’ve never regretted something while not actually regretting it. What we did … I’ve wanted that for months. But not at the cost of Anders’ mental health.

Anders appears wearing a towel, just like he did last night. My brain short-circuits again, forgetting all the reasons why it’s a bad idea to mess around with him.

Until I see his face. Guilt is back with a vengeance.

“So, umm …” he says at the same time I say, “My turn to shower.”

Anders grips his towel tighter. “I’ll probably be gone when you get out. Law asked me to help him and Reed set up the dojo for today, and I kinda lost track of time.”

“If you wait for me to shower, I can come with if you need more hands on deck.”

“Uh, thanks for the offer, but I’m already late.”