Locked Heart (Cash Me Outside 1)

I love Seb. I really do. Two days ago, if he’d got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, I probably would’ve shrugged and gone with it. Not because I’m in love with him. But because he’s comfortable. He’s a permanent fixture in my life. Marrying him is a smart move for me professionally. There’d be a million reasons why marrying him would work. And inevitably not work. Because getting married for any reason other than true love won’t last. Companionship doesn’t equal fairy-tale love. It helps, but it’s not the type that makes your stomach flutter and your toes curl.

“Holy shit, we’re totally an old married couple.”

And I need to grovel more than I thought.

I was expecting to need to forgive him, but the truth is he never did anything wrong.

I’m the one who needs to be full of apologies.

“Sorry,” Seb says as if the revelation is somewhat disappointing.

“Don’t be. You gave me the best gift I could’ve been given.”

“A husband who cheats on you repeatedly?”

I laugh. “Perspective. I need to kiss Locke’s feet and worship the ground he walks on.”

Seb smiles. “Then let’s teach you your groveling song.”

Under the warm spray and the harsh lighting in the hotel bathroom, I regret everything about how that went down.

Seb plays for me while I scrub up, and he really did do an amazing job making my wallowing sound less whiny and more angsty.

I’m ashamed at the way I acted toward Locke and need to make it up to him.

I bang my head on the shower wall and then remember I’m in Vegas and that could be hazardous to my health. There could be anything in this room, and I’m not too eager to get a blacklight and find out what.

But I probably deserve it. I need to get over myself if I want anything to do with Locke ever again.

My Sherlock.

We both grew up, him more than me, but that was always going to happen.

We’ve lived our separate lives, and we’ve seen the world. He’s discovered another love. Experienced heartache again. But for me, there was no recovering after him.

I have no doubt walking away when we were eighteen years old was the wrong decision, but how were we to know no one else would fill our hearts the way we each did back then?

Life experiences.

Love.

Lust.

Sex.

We needed to do all of that to get here.

We left it up to fate to meet again, and now’s our time.

I shut off the water and dry off, racking my brain about how I can fix this.

A song won’t be enough. At least, not for me.

I need to make him fall in love with me again.

Chapter Ten

Locke

“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t give out personal information about any guests staying here let alone a celebrity.” The hotel clerk stares like she’s better than me, and I’m about to lose my shit.

After only a couple hours of broken sleep thanks to being drunk for the first time in forever and wanting the room to stop spinning, I knew I had to try to find Cash.

I need to explain while I’m sober and lucid.

I need him to understand why I married Shannon and why it was the second biggest mistake of my life.

The first was going to Wharton instead of following Cash to LA and going to college in California.

I want to put the regrets of the last ten years behind us and start again even if I don’t know how that will work with a rock star and a no one.

“Look, I know you can’t tell me what room Cash is in, but can you call his room and tell him I’m in the lobby waiting for him? Please?”

The clerk is getting as frustrated with me as I am with her, but she gives me a smile through gritted teeth. “Even if Cash Kingsley was a guest, I wouldn’t do that, but he’s not registered here anyway, so you’re wasting your breath.”

“He’s famous. He’s probably checked in under an alias.”

“The rest of the band is. Mr. Kingsley is not.”

Finally getting somewhere. “Seb. The bass player. He knows me. I’m not some stalker fan, for fuck’s sake.” I take my hotel ID out even if this isn’t an affiliate to the one I work at. “I’m an employee at the Catalina. I was with Cash last night, and I need to see him.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, okay. I spent my night with a Hemsworth brother.”

I barely resist banging my pounding head on the desk in front of me.

I’m hungover, unshowered, I’m still in my clothes from last night, my jaw is scruffy, and I probably look like a homeless person. I can’t hate her for not trusting me, but why can’t she, damn it? I could really do with some old-fashioned benefit of the doubt type crap.