Awkwardly unsure of what to do with my hands—don’t worry, I’m never in doubt when there’s actually a willing woman around—I hooked my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans and bounced on my toes.
I was counting the third row of the painted block wall ahead of me when footsteps sounded from around the corner.
Conscious of my appearance, I pulled my hands out of my pockets and crossed my arms at my chest, the picture of cool and casual.
A little smirk set to the corner of my lips, and I was ready for her.
Or so I thought.
Blond hair and dimples rounded the corner, sure, but instead of a Heidi, this time, it was a Hank.
Surprised, I didn’t check my verbal filter and blurted, “You’re a dude.”
He laughed, the muscles of his bicep flexing as he did, and flashed a brilliant set of white teeth at me. “As are you.”
I rolled my eyes at myself, knowing how dumb I must have sounded, and tried again. “No, yeah.” I chuckled. “Obviously. I just thought it’d be the same person who was here yesterday, and she was not, in fact, a dude.”
“Ah,” the human Ken doll breathed knowingly. What he assumed was knowingly anyway. Apparently, he had it all worked out in his head, and the arrogance bothered me.
“It’s not what you think,” I explained like an idiot. “It was just…well, she—the girl who was here yesterday morning—well, she dropped my piss and yeah…it was a whole thing,” I finished lamely while stumbling over myself as I tried to explain what I realized was an insanely weird set of circumstances.
I mean, not only had my pee spilled all over the pretty little blond, but my interest had followed suit.
And now, here I was, bumbling like a moron while Barbie’s real-life boyfriend looked on with amusement.
He laughed, unconvinced by my explanation and completely numb to any kind of compassion. “Spilled the sample, huh? And you’re actually surprised she’s not here?”
Instantly, I was on edge and one hundred percent offended for her. Not to mention, this prick didn’t know anything about her. I narrowed my eyes and stared at the shit-talker. “It’s not like she did it on purpose.”
“I’m sure she didn’t,” he said, and sarcasm dripped from his voice.
What a smug fucking bastard.
Sure, I thought the girl was cute, but beyond my obvious bias and fascination, it was pretty damn apparent her bedside manner was miles above this asshole’s. I didn’t know where Ken got off thinking he was the superior being, but I was officially annoyed by him.
“Specimen collection is pretty much your one and only job in this setting,” he added, the fucking know-it-all. “If she can’t do that, I’m not surprised she got replaced.”
“You know she got replaced?” I asked, and my voice rose a little. Not only was the prick getting on my nerves, he’d touched a sensitive spot in the feel-bad center of my stomach. Being the reason she got fired didn’t sit well with me, and getting the news from someone who didn’t feel bad for her only twisted the knife deeper.
“Honestly, I have no idea.” He shrugged, and if his shoulders could talk, they would’ve said, I don’t give a shit. “This is my first day on this job. All I’m saying is, we can assume—”
“We can’t assume anything, Ken,” I interjected on a snap. “Assuming makes an ass out of you and me both, friend.”
His forehead pinched. “My name isn’t Ken.”
“Might as well be,” I said petulantly before turning for the door.
“Hey,” he called as I passed over the threshold. “What about your replacement sample?”
I scoffed. Not on my watch, asshole. The day I’d give my piss to this annoying as fuck guy would be a cold day in hell.
Apparently, I’ve lost my mind.
“I’ll wait,” I said, like I had a goddamn choice. Like this wasn’t the edict of my boss and a requirement of the team. Like I didn’t like the guy was a valid excuse for begging off one of the responsibilities of my job.
Unfortunately, nothing but my righteous indignation and my cute blond’s pretty little face registered in that moment.
With one last declaration, I dug my feet in and stood up for every unfairly fired medical assistant in the world.
“I’ll wait until the end of time if I have to,” I said, and just before I strode out the door, I stole one last glance at Barbie’s boyfriend. He looked confused, and fuck, I felt fantastic.
It was glorious.
Well, until about an hour or so later when shit took a turn.
Wes Lancaster got word of my rebellion, and for the first official time in my career, I ended up in my boss’s office.
While he read me the riot act and let me know in a very shouty voice that I’d sure as shit be retesting the instant I left his office, I realized pretty quickly that, in the name of a pretty little blond, I’d royally screwed the pooch.