Surrender

Chapter Thirteen

Of all the things Vaughn could have said, that wasn’t remotely close to anything on the list of options.

“What did you say?” I stared in bewilderment.

Even through the bulkiness of our coats, I felt his warmth when he tucked me close to his body. It made me feel more grounded. Even though we were shivering from the cold, we were still connected, keeping each other warm.

“I said I think it’s time to leave,” he repeated.

“But why? What happened? You’ve never wanted to leave. Never.” God, I had asked so many times. Too many to count. I wanted him to quit before I left DC. I wanted it on our island vacation. When the nightmares started. Even when they stopped. But somewhere along the way I had stopped asking. Stopped believing there could be a life without Blackwing. I didn’t know if I lived in denial or acceptance.

His voice remained low. “They did the one thing they swore they wouldn’t do.” There was an iciness in his voice that was chilling, even though I knew it wasn’t directed at me.

“What was that?” I asked.

“They brought you in. You were off limits.” His jaw moved sharply when he spoke. “You were always off limits, babe. I can’t trust them anymore. If they’ll go after you, then there are no limits. No lines they won’t cross.”

There was something inside me that wanted to jump up and down. I wanted to scream and shout that this should have happened months ago. I wanted to hit him and punch him for taking so damn long to figure it out. And yet, I wanted to hold him. I wanted to get us through it. I wanted to love him for finally arriving at this place. A place that had always seemed obvious to me, but that Vaughn wasn’t willing to acknowledge until now.

“How do we walk away?” It was a frightening question. There were plenty of nights when I stared at the chandelier and imagined how it would even be possible.

“This is what I’ve been thinking about. We can’t just up and run. Too many people are already looking. Add Blackwing to that tally and we would be found quickly.” He waited while an older man walking his dog strolled past our bench. The man shuffled his feet, scattering gravel with every step. “People don’t leave Blackwing, Em. It doesn’t happen. There are no retired agents. There’s not a pension plan. The only way out is making our own exit. We have to create a door that doesn’t exist. And once it’s built, we have to run.”

“What if we run back home?” I suggested. “Asked the FBI to help us?”

He shook his head. “I’ll be behind bars the rest of my life.”

“But you could offer them something. Give them information on Blackwing in exchange for immunity.” I didn’t want to admit how many afternoons I had spent in the library, researching cases from old U.S. legal journals.

“That would be an option for you. You don’t have a criminal history. My crimes are too extensive and have gone on for too long. The FBI doesn’t want to barter with me. They want me to hang for what I’ve done.”

My skin crawled when he spoke like that. I wasn’t going to let that happen. “I’ll negotiate for you. We’re a package deal, right? Agent Kenneth would listen to me.” I twisted the leather on my gloves. “I think he would if I explained everything to him.”

“I love that you want to do this the right way. I love that you still believe the good guys are out there. It’s why I have to get out. If I don’t, they’re going to take that from you. They will wipe out every trace of goodness. I’m not going to be the reason that happens. We’re going to run. We’re going to build that exit. I swear.”

I searched his eyes. I was petrified. “How?” I whispered.

“It’s the only time I’m going to ask you to do this, but you’re going to have to lie, Em.”

I nodded. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you away from them. To get us away.”

“We’re going to have to go on the offensive on two sides. It’s not just Blackwing. It’s going to be the FBI. Your friend Agent Kenneth too.”

I was confused. “Why is he a part of this?”

“We have to hurl Blackwing and the FBI at each other. The only way we can run is to start a fire so big between those two they won’t see us run through the smoke.”

“You think I can do this?” I wished it wasn’t as dark here. I wanted to see his eyes. I wanted to see the truth in his expression when he answered.

“There is a reason Eloise tried to recruit you. Blackwing knows you can handle it. I know you can handle it. It’s the way your mind works. That legal brain of yours, sorting through details and stacking them in categories. I’ve seen you do it a thousand times. And you never forget a date or a name or a face. You’re logical. Calculated, even though you don’t see yourself that way.”

“And now that’s a good thing? My legal brain?”

“Yes. It has always been a good thing. It’s an asset now. Rely on that to help me work through the plan.”

I nodded. “And then what?”

“And then I give you a happily ever after.” He smiled softly.