But maybe I was as broken as him. Maybe that was why I identified so much with his pain.
We were two of a kind. Both of us destroyed by the past but still limping on.
There wasn’t much choice. Time kept moving. And I was what I was—there was no escaping it.
Choices and happenstance. All the circumstance of my days. It added up to what made me.
Darren was the same. He never chose any of his tragedy. He didn’t want his little brother to nearly die—he didn’t ask for his sister to jump off a building. And yet it happened, and now he had to assimilate that into his sense of self.
Circumstance and chance.
I touched his hand as the convoy pulled up outside the barn. Roman’s cars were already parked. I smiled slightly to myself. Cassie would never let him be late.
“Are you ready?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know.” He stared out the window at the waving wheat field. The afternoon sunlight made the tall brown stalks glow golden. “Can I admit something to you?”
“Always.”
“I’m afraid.”
I moved closer and kissed his neck. “Of what?”
“Of what I’ll do.” His eyes narrowed. He was tense, like an arrow on a bowstring. “I’m afraid I’ll kill him the first chance I get.”
“You won’t. You know what’ll happen if you do.”
An angry smile. “He’ll be dead. That’s what’ll happen.”
“Darren.”
“I know.” He looked into my eyes and kissed my lips then leaned his forehead against mine. “You trust me, don’t you?”
“I want to.”
“That’s enough then. I want to protect you as much as I want to protect my sisters. I won’t let anything bad happen.”
I hoped he meant it.
We stayed in that position for another few second before he pulled away. I was reluctant to step outside. I could feel his anger and anxiety drifting off his skin like fog.
But he opened the car door and the rush of humid, warm air brushed over my skin.
I followed him onto the dusty walk. His men fanned out. Roman was already inside.
“Stay out here,” Darren ordered Pavlo. “If you come across Roman’s men, do nothing.”
“Yes, sir.” Pavlo gave him a half salute.
Anthony joined us as we wandered toward the old barn.
“Any second thoughts?” he asked, grinning big.
“If I had any, they don’t matter now.” Darren hesitated in front of the door.
Maeve owned this place. She’d offered it as a refuge. It was neutral ground, unfamiliar to both Darren and Roman, and she swore it would be private. Darren said the barn used to be part of a network of bootleggers back in the Prohibition days, and Maeve’s men still used the old tunnels to move heroin around the country.
Amazing the lengths men went to make money.
Darren pushed the door open and strode inside.
The space was dim. Light streamed in from high windows. It seemed empty at first—there were no armed men waiting in every corner. Roman could’ve hidden his soldiers, but I had the feeling he wouldn’t bother.
A table was set up. The floor was swept clean. Cassie, Roza, and Roman stood at the far end.
I slowed when I saw my best friend.
She looked good. Healthy and tan and happy. She took a step forward, her mouth opening in a massive smile. She wore a simple flowy top and tight jeans and understated makeup—in short, exactly how I remembered her.
It felt like forever since we saw each other.
“Hey, Cass,” I said.
She ran over. Roman grimaced and reached for her, but Roza stopped him from following.
I met Cassie in the middle and hugged her so hard I thought my ribs might explode.
“Oh, fuck, girl. I really fucking missed you.”
“I missed you too. When’s the last time we went this long without seeing each other?”
“When you left me for that big goon.”
Cassie beamed. “That’s right. How’s married life?”
“So far so good. You?”
“It’s great.” She hugged me again, nuzzling close. “When this is over, we can be friends again, right?”
“I promise.”
“The boys won’t like it.”
“I know. We’ll make them get used to it.”
“And if they don’t?”
“Then they can go to hell.”
She laughed and held my hands before looking over my shoulder at Darren. “Thanks for coming.”
“I didn’t have a choice. My wife can be very convincing.”
I turned to look at him. He lingered at the edge of the room. Anthony stood behind him, his face pale.
I glanced over at Roman. It took me a second to realize that he wasn’t looking at Darren.
Roman was staring at Anthony.
I couldn’t read the expression on his face. It was caught somewhere between longing and sorrow. I didn’t know what the hell to make of that. Roman supposedly wanted to kill Anthony, and yet he looked like all he wanted to do was give the kid a big bear hug and have a good cry with him.
“Winter.” Darren’s voice was cold. I smiled at Cassie and refused to let myself cry.