Nate

I leaned my head back against the side of the pool. “You sound confused.”

“I am.” He swiped some wet hair from my forehead. “That’s what you do to me. Turn me every which way. Ever since I first saw you down here, I…” He seemed to wrestle with what he wanted to say next.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, his jacket sliding off my shoulders and floating around me. “Keep going. And tell the truth.” A glance at his lips had me warming even more.

“Shit.” He shook his head a little. “When I first saw you down here, I wanted you.”

Cue the inner fireworks.

“But I didn’t know it was you. I thought maybe one of the guys had brought their chick by. That didn’t bother me. I still would’ve…”

“Would’ve what?” I leaned closer, peering into his expressive green eyes.

“I would’ve gotten what I wanted, no matter who you belonged to.”

I wrapped my legs around his hips. “Is it normal to be jealous of myself when you thought I was someone else?”

He laughed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. I wanted to lick it.

“But then I realized it was you. The shy, sweet girl I’d found and taken care of. And I refused to see you as anything else. Because you’re so young. And so innocent.”

“Oh, come on.” I squeezed him between my legs. “Innocent?”

“You are.” A wrinkle formed between his brows. “You’ve never been with anyone. You have this amazing future. You deserve the best. Not some… some mafia capo asshole with a smart mouth and a short life expectancy.” He absently ran a finger on the scar along his jaw.

My heart melted more and more as he spoke, his words halting but sincere. It hadn’t occurred to me that he didn’t think he was good enough for me. It all began to make more sense as I considered him. He thought I would have this amazing life. I hoped he was right. But it included him. It always had.

I pinned him with a hard look. “This isn’t about deserve, this is about need. I don’t know what I deserve, but I know I need you. Not just out of some hero worship from when I was thirteen, either. It started there, and if that had been the extent of it, it would have died while I was away at school. It didn’t. I thought about you every day.” I thought I was done crying for the day. I was wrong. Tears overflowed, mixing with the water on my cheeks. “Every. Day. I hoped you were safe and happy. And I wanted to get back to you more than anything. But you wouldn’t let me. And I knew—no matter how hard it was for me—that you kept me away for a reason. So I didn’t come back. Not until I was ready. And now I’m here. I want this amazing future you’ve painted, but the part you don’t understand is that you’ve always been in the picture right there with me.”

“You’re even poetic.” He smoothed his palm along my cheek and wiped my tears. “You going to major in books or something?”

I smiled and rubbed the tip of my nose against his. “Pre-law.”

“Oh, shit.” He pulled back. “Lawyer?”

“Yeah.”

“Not the prosecutor type, right?”

I shrugged, teasing him. “Maybe. I might decide to take down the entire Philly underground. Really clean up the city.”

He smirked. “I could talk you out of your plan.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, maybe not talk, but I’d definitely be using my tongue.”

Sparks ignited in my veins.

His gaze turned serious, his jaw tightening. “I don’t deserve you. Not even a little. I’m an asshole. You need to know things about me before we do this.”

I didn’t know what he meant by “this,” but I wasn’t about to stop him from telling me about himself.

“I’m a bastard first thing in the morning. Like, if you wake me up, I might want to strangle you, and I’ll definitely fuck you rough. I can’t stand any music created by boy bands. I have a weird habit of counting things in fives. I just like five. I don’t know why. I’ll try not to smoke anymore, but I can’t make promises with you around.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “One more thing. I want you.”

My stomach flipped.

His grip on me tightened. “I want you so bad that I can’t fucking think straight. But we don’t have to rush. I won’t push you to give me anything you aren’t comfortable with.” He gritted his teeth, but put conviction in his words. “I can wait.”

“Fair enough. A few things about me—I have to have coffee in the morning or I’ll lose my mind. I love boy bands. I have tickets to see a K-pop boy band this fall.”

He gave me a quizzical look.

“Korean boy bands are the best,” I explained. “My favorite food is strawberry Laffy Taffies. I giggle every time I try to get a pedicure. And I’ve fantasized about you every night for years. So, while you may be happy to wait, I’m not.” I leaned forward and caught his bottom lip between my teeth.