Hero (Gone 9)
“I battled Caine many times. Did I take him down?”
“Not in the end, but—”
“And Drake. Did I stop Drake?”
“You tried. It wasn’t your fault that—”
Sam held up a hand, silencing her. “I failed, Dekka. Again and again and again, I failed. I tried. I tried like hell—you know I tried; of all people you know that. But I failed.” Dekka was looking down, so Sam leaned forward and raised her chin. “Hey, Dekka: I failed. The big hero of the FAYZ? I failed.”
“But you . . .” Dekka’s lower lip quivered. “You . . .”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I tried. Just like you’re trying. But, Dekka, my love, you are up against so much more. The stakes are so much higher. The people fighting you are so much more powerful.”
Five minutes earlier, Dekka would have sworn she wouldn’t cry. She’d have said she was way past that kind of emotion. But now she felt her throat convulsing with sobs and knew tears were rolling down her cheeks.
“What you’ve done is amazing, Dekka. If you were a soldier they’d be pinning medals on you. Listen to me. If this is you measuring yourself against me, stop it. Just stop it right now.” He swept his arm around, indicating the group, the six scared, defeated faces. “The only thing you’re failing at is not pushing everything aside and remembering that you are still the leader of the Rockborn Gang.”
Dekka’s eyes widened in alarm. “But you’re here now!”
“Yes, I am,” Sam said. “And I am offering you my services, such as they are.” He leaned in close again to make eye contact, though Dekka was again looking at the floor. “Now, I’m going to do for you what you so often did for me. I’m going to tell you to drop the self-pity right the hell now, because people need you. So you are going to turn off the waterworks, and you are going to pick your head up, and you’re going to show me that defiant, screw-all-of-you, scary Dekka look I know so well.”
Dekka wiped her tears again. She stifled the sobs, and the constrictions in her throat came once, and once again, and stopped. She took a deep, shaky breath that was steadier when she let it go.
It’s not because I owe these people, though I do, Dekka thought. But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit here and cry in front of Sam.
After a long minute, Dekka said, “Is Astrid here with you?”
“No, she had other things to do.”
Dekka was alarmed. “But, Drake!”
Sam fished out his phone, unlocked it, and swiped a few times. Then he turned the phone around to show Dekka his texts. The most recent was from Astrid.
All taken care of. Love you.
“Yeah, see the thing is, someone mailed Astrid a dose of the rock.” He arched a brow. “I can’t imagine who’d have done something like that.”
“Is she . . .”
“Oh, Astrid is very scary now.”
Dekka managed a smile. “Astrid was always scary.” She met his gaze, unflinching now. “I don’t suppose the anonymous person who FedExed you one dose of the rock may have included two doses?”
“Interesting that you’d mention FedEx, because I don’t believe I mentioned how the rock got to us.” He winked. “How the two doses of rock got to us.”
“I wanted so much to keep you out of this,” Dekka said.
“And yet, here I am.” He looked around at the others. “Here we all are.”
A line from Tolkien came to Dekka. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam. But she did not say it aloud.
“Now, if you’ll have me, I will be the newest recruit to the Rockborn Gang.”
Dekka laughed. “Well, depends on what you have to offer, young man.”
A slow grin spread across Sam’s face. “Oh, you’re going to like this. It was a strangely fitting gift from the rock.”
CHAPTER 32